Busy

May has been a very busy month for me. I'm divesting and downsizing, thinking, rehashing, experiencing, and living freely for the first time in my life without a clear purpose before me for each and every day. Before, I was working, building a business, raising my children, then keeping my head above water after the accident. Everyday was pre-planned and duly executed. In the past few days I have not had anything on the agenda that I *had* to do. Not buying groceries for a household, working, doing paperwork, nothing that simply must be done, not since the Medical Expert consultation last week. So I have increasingly slipped into the routine of being lazy, deliciously lazy. That is just so not me. At least I started this blog as practice for the art of writing and being real with myself. I have lived an eventful and stressful fifty years. I have learned a lot and missed even more lessons that I should have gotten. I sometimes find that I am still measuring myself by somebody else's yardstick. How stupid is that? My yardstick is jest fine, thank you!

The goals are still: downsize and get rid of stuff, stash my cash and ditch my trash, preserve memorabilia on DVD, sell car, buy used van, fix up van for driving, fix up van for living, add hitch and small trailer, and blow this scene. I'm on unemployment until the middle of October, unless the agency messes that up again. I can make over a thousand a month on Ebay if I work at it by listing ten items a day. I have more stuff I could sell. And my accident case may miraculously settle this summer, but we aren't relying upon it. The last time I worked a few months ago I was offered the job of Director of Software Engineering, but for some strange reason that didn't translate into actual dollars, so I'm a little disillusioned with "real work". I have had an extremely hard time getting paid in the past five years, so I'm understandably shy about trying that on again. I have my own ideas for peddling software, but am not in the position to make it happen, yet.

The van is not a bad idea. I am picturing a used cargo van with two front seats and a long body with few or no windows. I will have it fixed up so that the drive train, brakes, and steering are in tip-top shape. Then I will clean it, lay down a rug, fit a bed platform over a storage area, and install my plastic drawer systems. It will start off as being mainly a traveling office, workroom, and storage area, with the plan of using it as a makeshift bedroom as necessary. The hitch will be for towing a small trailer that holds the usual detritus of American culture. The "stuff" I "might need", while the van itself will house the items that matter the most to me and help me make a living.

Like a solar charged auxiliary battery array, inverter, laptop, printer, portable potty, water in jugs, solar shower & plastic tub, curtains, futon on bed platform, litter pan, jewelry making supplies & tools, mailing materials, paperwork, memorabilia on DVD's, clothes, shoes, seeds, beans, grains, sprouters, cooking equipment, books, and personal items. In the case where I would have to put the van in for repairs, the trailer would be the place I store and lock up my "stuff". The trailer could also serve as a place to gather items I find on the road to resell at flea markets. I may be contemplating the freedom of being a homeless bum, but I'd be more of a hobo. An itinerant worker, a gypsy with a portable skill. I'm one more cat away from this goal. And I can't wait!