I've been working hard, helping little bird clear clutter (more on that later), and babysitting my granddaughters. Not where I want to be but I'm comfortable getting some things accomplished.
Today I'm working at the home office of a colleague, who is in New Holland, PA. He was amazed that I could stay so cozy and comfortable in the van at night, just using his shower in the mornings. Heck, even the port-a-potty got some use in the middle of the chilly night. I've stayed a few days now and expect to finish a major piece of the project before heading back to little bird's house closer to Royersford this evening.
Little bird got an "intervention" from her son and I earlier this month. EVERYTHING MUST GO!!! She is finally letting go of stuff. I made it clear and her son made it clear that WE are NOT going to clean it up. SHE must CLEAN IT UP and LET IT GO! There is a pathological clutter problem, really a hoarding problem and she's too great a person to allow this to go on any longer. Every word she says about hopes and dreams is about "one day when my house is clean". Yo! Clean it today, one square foot at a time.
I posted a bit about the issue earlier in my blog. I'm a minimalist, neat freak, with delusions of simplicity. For awhile I allowed myself to suffer as her roommate, freely "helping" by cleaning entire rooms only to come home from work to see them trashed. I finally told her how it made me feel. Her son confronted her on her belief that the clutter and mess came only from the time she had hand surgery. I had believed that, until he pointed out to her that this problem has been around since he was small. He cried as he told her that the way they lived hurt him and made his early life difficult. He was pushed to a tiny area of a cluttered room with barely enough room for his bed. He showed her pictures of it before she would accept what she had done to him. I showed her pictures of the kitchen as it would look to me after a hard day at work, then coming home to food leavings and dirty dishes everywhere, when I had cleaned it up before leaving for work! Never again!
I only spend my energy giving her moral support now, because she asked for help. Help can only be moral support. Nobody else can clean up her life and expect that the lesson will take. She simply has to do the inner work to ensure that happens.
So, I'm finishing up here at work, then next week I'm headed back to Missouri for the winter. I want to winterize my tiny trailer and settle in with my new kittens. I'll travel again when the cold season is nearly over, taking a kitten or two with me.
Showing posts with label Helping Friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Helping Friends. Show all posts
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Sucked in, again!
Every now and then I see things with great clarity, and then I blink and the vision is gone. I simply have to stop getting sucked into the drama's that are manufactured by other people. Marie finally cut the chains to Brock and told him to "get your life together, man!" I've been telling her that for years. And now, I'm visiting my old roommate Little Bird, and she got us sucked into a bigtime 17 1/2 year old drah-mah! It's is still a bit of a roommate situation, where I pay her $100 a week towards expenses, plus I help her declutter. Sigh...
I admit, I saw this one coming with the 17 1/2 year old. Verona came to Little Bird with a horrible tale of woe. We've known the kid for years and we know Verona came from an abusive and unstable background, with foster homes and children's homes, before becoming adopted, with her younger sister. The family has been in turmoil for six years now. Verona rages at them and they were afraid to come into the house when she was home--and that's what we learned after giving her some requested help.
The tale of woe did not include anything that would cause the police or social services to intervene, but it was bad enough that two old birds got temporarily sucked in. Within three weeks of housing her, with the express permission of her "evil parents," we got the picture. The only tale of woe was to stir up chaos and instigate drama on a 24 x 7 basis. So, Verona (has NOTHING to do with veracity!) was booted back to her tale of woe a few nights ago. I like to call that "consequences".
In the meantime, I'm trying to finish up my own projects with back taxes, paperwork, a lucrative software engagement, and outfitting my new van. The accident settlement money is on the way, and that would sure help in getting things done right from the beginning. But I'm happy enough to cobble together what I need. I wish I had the time and the inclination to figure out how to install and outfit my own electrical and HVAC needs. But I have no interest in building this shelter. I have to farm the good stuff out to experts.
My new SUV mattress from Coleman is perfect for my set up. I sleep the short way in the van, not the long way. That takes up far less room. I like to see a cozy bed made up in the back with a hidden storage space underneath. It makes the van look more like a home. I am using a thick plywood board to hold the air mattress, and still have room to fit six one foot deep plastic bins underneath. If I raised the board about 8 inches onto a railing, then I could fit six smaller bins on top of the deeper bins, for more storage and organization. Ideally, jewelry making supplies would fit under the bed.
I'm using two Snap 'n Stack craft organizers (http://www.acmoore.com/p-31381-snap-n-stack-craft-organizer-large-square-3-layers.aspx) to organize my cooking, eating, and drinking implements. One organizer has small pots and pans, cooking utensils, cutting board, knifes, and miscellaneous accessories. The top is empty and ready to be filled with herbs, sea salt, spices, and my collection of dehydrated vegies (onions, shallots, tomatoes, celery, mushrooms, spinach flakes, etc.). The other organizer has my smart mug and hot drink fixin's in the top, with plates, bowls, cups, and eating utensils in the bottom.
A milk crate holds four one gallon water jugs, two large white rubbermaid three drawer storage units hold clothes, extra food, cooking items, and miscellaneous. I have a large toolbox, a medium sized cooler, a rectangular folding table, a folding chair, a toilet hassock, and a bike. Then there's the hiking and outside camping stuff. Oy, vey! Where does all this stuff come from?
Pictures are coming soon. In the meantime I'm playing hookey from work and need to get back to it.
I admit, I saw this one coming with the 17 1/2 year old. Verona came to Little Bird with a horrible tale of woe. We've known the kid for years and we know Verona came from an abusive and unstable background, with foster homes and children's homes, before becoming adopted, with her younger sister. The family has been in turmoil for six years now. Verona rages at them and they were afraid to come into the house when she was home--and that's what we learned after giving her some requested help.
The tale of woe did not include anything that would cause the police or social services to intervene, but it was bad enough that two old birds got temporarily sucked in. Within three weeks of housing her, with the express permission of her "evil parents," we got the picture. The only tale of woe was to stir up chaos and instigate drama on a 24 x 7 basis. So, Verona (has NOTHING to do with veracity!) was booted back to her tale of woe a few nights ago. I like to call that "consequences".
In the meantime, I'm trying to finish up my own projects with back taxes, paperwork, a lucrative software engagement, and outfitting my new van. The accident settlement money is on the way, and that would sure help in getting things done right from the beginning. But I'm happy enough to cobble together what I need. I wish I had the time and the inclination to figure out how to install and outfit my own electrical and HVAC needs. But I have no interest in building this shelter. I have to farm the good stuff out to experts.
My new SUV mattress from Coleman is perfect for my set up. I sleep the short way in the van, not the long way. That takes up far less room. I like to see a cozy bed made up in the back with a hidden storage space underneath. It makes the van look more like a home. I am using a thick plywood board to hold the air mattress, and still have room to fit six one foot deep plastic bins underneath. If I raised the board about 8 inches onto a railing, then I could fit six smaller bins on top of the deeper bins, for more storage and organization. Ideally, jewelry making supplies would fit under the bed.
I'm using two Snap 'n Stack craft organizers (http://www.acmoore.com/p-31381-snap-n-stack-craft-organizer-large-square-3-layers.aspx) to organize my cooking, eating, and drinking implements. One organizer has small pots and pans, cooking utensils, cutting board, knifes, and miscellaneous accessories. The top is empty and ready to be filled with herbs, sea salt, spices, and my collection of dehydrated vegies (onions, shallots, tomatoes, celery, mushrooms, spinach flakes, etc.). The other organizer has my smart mug and hot drink fixin's in the top, with plates, bowls, cups, and eating utensils in the bottom.
A milk crate holds four one gallon water jugs, two large white rubbermaid three drawer storage units hold clothes, extra food, cooking items, and miscellaneous. I have a large toolbox, a medium sized cooler, a rectangular folding table, a folding chair, a toilet hassock, and a bike. Then there's the hiking and outside camping stuff. Oy, vey! Where does all this stuff come from?
Pictures are coming soon. In the meantime I'm playing hookey from work and need to get back to it.
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