People

People are funny and fortunately they are fun to interact with mostly. After a good start to the day then a bad middle somewhere around the bend of good intentions the afternoon turned out to be enjoyable. My landlord in the RV/trailer park is a delightful woman in her seventies, from the UK originally. Since her husband died she now handles the park, does most of the maintenance, and keeps up on all the appropriate gossip. I paid the rent early and left a note about some issues, one the light over the stove has a short, and the other was that we needed a mailbox key. She came right over in her toy cart and we had a nice visit. We discussed the finer points of dealing with adult children who have come home to roost with their chicks. More on that later. We will be getting a new light over the stove but she brought a clip-on light in the meantime. And the door that had previously been torn from its hinges will be replaced with an accordion door. She loved what we did with the place and is indeed a sheltered island away from the storm over at Brock's trailer that is so full of disfunction and chaos. We get along famously, we old ships of the sea. Like Ma Joad said in The Grapes of Wrath, men they live their lives in jerks while we women experience life as a flowing river. Sometimes its deep and treacherous and sometimes its calm and peaceful. I'm having to jerk some peace back for myself after dealing with Brock today.

To set the story up, of course I'm always right. Once that's decided then we will get along famously. All kidding aside, when I'm forking over time, energy, and money, yes I'm always right. This week his mother was in tears and we are both sick over how shabbily he is taking care of things. He got a job at Wally World when he first got out of jail when I bailed him out on a $2500 bond. He didn't get all four children dumped on him until a few months afterward. I've been doing all the babysitting which has turned out to be only about three days a week. He uses any excuse to miss work and it falls on his mother to take up the financial slack. Every time I see him the fist is opened palm up requesting money. Of course we don't want to see him lose his job or for the kids to go without birthdays and back to school supplies. But I'm tired of sitting in the trailer babysitting and catching calls from bill collectors for things that were not needed. We cannot affort fancy rental TV's and video game systems. We are tired of subsidizing a life he just cannot afford. We are sick of it. SICK OF IT! She wants to throw her hands up and say "screw it!" I thought I was made of sterner stuff and proceeded to try to get him involved in part of the solution, so I called him and requested that we use Friday to take care of things.

Today I picked him up on my last effort to invest more time, energy, and money into the problem. The plan was to get the notarized power of attorney forms done for the kids because we may end up with them if he has to serve out any sentence on his conviction, and next week is the big day where we find out. I took Brock to do his laundry because the washer is now broken. His mother believes this is because he allows all his friends to come to her trailer to do their laundry. She has no plans to fix it. So after that we planned to get a carpet steamer to take care of the nasties in the trailer. There is an issue where he is not on the lease and Mavis doesn't want the landlord to have an excuse to put an end to this nonsense because the trailer is falling to a state of filth and disrepair. Actually, there is no lease, this is the country. But there is common decency and one should keep one's rental property in good condition. Most responsible people know this. But, as I expected, Brock decided to inform me that he wasn't having anything to do with cleaning up the trailer and since he is a grown man he is sure I'll understand that he will be doing his own thing in the trailer while I work at cleaning it. Excuse me! I am not your kitchen mammy. I dropped him off at the trailer with the kids and I'm spending the rest of my time doing my own thing, since I am a grown woman. Can't wait for him to ask me to babysit again. Gee, I'm busy. I'm a grown woman and I have other things to do. I think it's time for another hike. And did I mention that his hoopty car, which belongs to his mother, has died? No? Well, it's on the side of the road and we "we're" going to look into fixing it after the trailer cleaning. But that's not my problem. >^;^<

On the bright side, this is just another life lesson for me. I really need to stop helping people when they ask. Gee, I'm jest too busy. Family is the worst and this youngster is like a son to me. I'm obviously not doing a very good job of being an example to him. My own sons are 27 and 23 and once they turned 22 and finished school I have not had to bail them out of trouble, knock on wood. Brock didn't get the pleasure of graduating from my boot camp for troubled teens.

The question on my mind as I reorganize my life is how far to go to help my family and friends? There have been people who helped me when I needed it and I don't mind being helpful, but surely there is a line to be drawn when it is too much. When is it too much? The decision has been made, it is too much for me. I'm not enjoying this stress at all. I did promise to give him a ride to work and the two smaller children to the sitter tomorrow, and I will. I think I'd like to leave the kids with her and leave Brock to his own devices coming home. He's a grown man. Five miles is no big deal to walk and I'm sure he will get a ride. I have an appointment with my hammock tomorrow night. I feel the urge to wander the woods.

Briock, if you are listening, I was a single mother too. I worked every hour I could and I held on to my money. My kids never had to wonder where they were going to live. Man up! No excuses!

Sheesh!

Drama

Our nerves are pretty much shot this morning. For the most part Mavis and I have done a good job of managing Brain and the four children so that drama is kept to a minimum. But this morning the baby mama drama intensified. This is the woman who is bipolar but will not take her meds. She is paranoid without cause, has dropped the children in their father's lap within days of them living with her in every single case, but suddenly feels nostalgic and motherly when she calls the trailer at 7:00 am and is told the children are sleeping. This is a household where the adults work late hours and it is set up during the summer so that the children don't wake before 9:00 am. It is critical that we all get our rest so we can function. Now the baby mama wants to come get all the kids. Great! If you do will you just keep them already? Instead she calls during the work day and demands that daddy leave his job and come to get them when she can't handle them. I'm a staunch defender of custodial parents, and they don't always have to be the mama. Brain is a good father and was the stay-at-home parent when they were born because she preferred to work and couldn't handle them then either.

Get this! She has no car, no drivers license, and is homeless. She stays with her 22 year old boyfriend at his parents' trailer, along with their daughter and her two children. We have it bad with four kids and three adults, and Mavis and I will move into our own trailer this weekend. There they would have five adults and six children under the age of ten in a smaller three bedroom trailer. I'd like a vote please. Should the four boys stay in a three bedroom trailer that is clean and organized, is safe and well provisioned, with their father who is working and has five great sitters lined up,and who cooks meals and spends time with them? Or should they stay in a tiny three bedroom trailer with their mother, her boyfriend, his sister, her two kids, and the boyfriend's parents, where the mother sleeps all the time, doesn't work, fights with her boyfriend's sister, and doesn't cook or spend time with the kids? Hint: all four boys want to live with their father. Daddy lets the baby mama visit the children anytime they want and has invited the baby mama and her boyfriend to one of the boy's birthday party next week. He just asks that she call at reasonable times, not 7:00 am or midnight, and that she plan the visits and give him a day's warning. In fact he does not want custody, he wants the kids to have a stable home environment, to go to school well dressed and well fed, and to live where there is no screaming and yelling.

Well, it doesn't matter because he is getting an emergency order for temporary custody ASAP. It has to be done to protect the kids. Mom needs to go to the psych ward for awhile, which is where she goes when she attempts suicide several times a year. Sheesh!

I put this type of post under "Drama" because I am only watching, from a distance. I don't want no drama!

Countdown

The timetable isn't exact, but I'm doing it. I guess I still have more stuff than I realized. I decided to let people come and pick up the sleep number bed, the tv, and the air conditioner on Wednesday. The roommate will be at the shore that day, and I will be moving stuff out that I do want to keep. I need Wednesday to concentrate on clearing and cleaning my part of the house. I'm basically a responsible person and I want to clean up after the cats where the litter pan was in the basement. Then I will spend Thursday clearing my son's apartment in case I'm not coming back soon, and load the car with just what I want to take. Friday I'll check the radiator and the oil, stop at the bank for cash, and then for a fill up. Then I'll get the cats last and hit the road to Missouri. I expect to arrive Saturday, sometime. It depends on if I drive straight through or stop for the night. I'd plan to sleep in the car except it will be filled with cats, cages, litter pan, cooler, and luggage. The trunk will be filled with Ebay items, jewelry supplies, and packaging material. Wish I had a van!

Tomorrow I plan to get the mail forwarding service and the storage room. Today I kept putting more stuff on Ebay then had nearly 20 packages to mail. It should be the same tomorrow, so it is worth it to delay for a bit. Still no exact news on the job.

I'm fine with it all. I still need to help my son with some of his paperwork. I could do that Thursday. So now I'm resting at his apartment and having a bite to eat. In a few minutes I'll bring in more stuff I brought from the house. Stupid stuff like a brand new ironing board, a broken TV I want to fix (I know I should put it into the dumpster!) and other detritus. Why can't I stop dealing with stuff?

>^;^<