Yeah, it's been awhile. With nothing earth shattering to mention on the lawsuit, the job, the van, or anything else, it's been a time of maintaining direction and handling old business. I'm still working as an hourly contractor on a contract, trying to get on my feet for the home stretch of the accident case. After a trip back home to Pennsylvania, all my stuff is stored in the RV for sorting and purging. A lifetime's accumulation of paperwork is waiting for a final cleansing before I file old tax forms and clean up that bit of the disaster of my life.
Yeah, about three days after I returned home with the papwerwork and junk there was a knock on the door from the infernal revenue service. Something about the form that kicks out when you lose your house to foreclosure. They are looking for the lost years' forms and possibly some money, but it will be up to me to show that I didn't make a dime on that deal, or many others. I didn't even claim a "home office". I'll probably need legal advice on this one. In any case, homeless people do have a low rate of tax compliance--duh!
The van is set and I'm currently processing things so that I can be mobile and gone by the end of February if necessary. The lawsuit is coming up on the pre-trial conference date, so I have that emotional roller coaster to look forward to. And, I have three of the boys whose father is in prison--all in a tiny "RV" with no room. My nerves are truly shot at this point. In about two weeks I should know how the lawsuit will play out. How does one survive chaos and uncontrollable change? I think you do it by putting one foot in front of the other, one day at a time. That's all we can do.
Showing posts with label Managing Change. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Managing Change. Show all posts
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Monday, July 23, 2007
New Life
I've been busy making a new life in Missouri. The weekend was spent getting away from it all in the Ozarks, and I had a lot to get away from already. I did some impromptu car camping and made some jewelry while sitting at a lake. I put up my folding table that I got for two bucks at a thrift store, covered it with a gorgeous gold suede look cloth found for fifity cents, and spread out my work. I had several customers come up to see what I was doing and who browsed my selections and kept me company while I worked. I made eighty dollars over two days. That was awesome because I wasn't really trying to sell anything. I keep the prices at ten to fifiteen dollars, and up to twenty dollars for a full set with a necklace, earrings, and a matching charm bracelet. I'm getting lots of requests for rings to match so I'll have to figure out a good source for ring bases to glue charms onto them. This set with just a pendant necklace and matching dangle earrings went for twenty-five dollars because I was reluctant to part with it. I planned to give it to a friend. But, I have enough glass beads to make four more sets so this was money well earned. It is made with silver chain and silver plated findings, so it's not a shabby set. And it took me less than an hour to assemble the pieces for the first time. I judge it will take me about 20 minutes to reproduce the design.
As to what I needed to get away from, well we are now seven in a three bedroom trailer or mobile home. It is fairly large, but Marie has the master bedroom, Brock has the next largest room, and he now has all four of his sons (10, 8, 4, 3) in the smallest room. I have the living room. We came to an understanding on Friday. If you come into the living room and wake me up you are going to be shown to Daddy's door. And that isn't something they desire to do first thing in the morning. So they quietly play with a video game and then dress and come out and make their breakfast. By that time I'm showered and dressed and my bedding is stashed.
The really good news is that on Friday, Marie and I went out and got a small trailer to rent for $325 a month. Brock will take over the bigger trailer. We'll probably live semi-communally because he is going to need our help to establish a household and raise the kids on his own. By that I mean that I will probably babysit a few evenings week at the big trailer. We'll all use the washer and dryer at the big trailer, and I'll keep the DSL on for internet access at both places. The trailer should be ready in about a week. I will furnish my half of the trailer with a normal height air mattress in the bedroom and an el cheapo dresser if I find one at the thrift stores or a yard sale.
Well, I have an hour to get dressed and wrap some Ebay stuff to mail. I want to be out of the house before the Jehovah's Witness bible study starts. So I'm going to get busy and finish up as fast as I can!
Saturday, July 14, 2007
More Tidying Up
See the "hoopty car" the "hoopty cat" on the "hoopty road". >^;^<
While couch surfing at my old roommate's house we got her hair colored, visited and enjoyed each other's company, did some shopping, and worked out several survival scenarios for me. I finally got the car loaded up with everything I absolutely needed to run my online business and conduct personal business. The car was divided into six zones. The trunk was one zone and contained the jewelry making tools and supplies, camping/survival equipment, shipping supplies, and miscellaneous stuff crammed into the available space. The backseat was three zones that housed paperwork, Ebay items to sell and listed, and the electronics. That would be the laptop, printer, lighting, postal scale, extra camera, and such. The backseat also contained a box of stuff for my friend in Missouri that I'd stored for her for years, plus five full boxes of dolls and props and items to sell. I'd say I managed to cram my poor little Ford Escort with at least $4000 worth of saleable items. As I drove I was making $60 per day on the Ebay site.
In the passenger seat I had three more boxes crammed in, plus a litter pan, scoop, and a huge animal cage that was broken down so that Spike could sit up high in the pan looking at the traffic and scenery whizzing by. I have some great pictures to upload, however I just bought a new laptop and no software for the camera so that will be a separate project sometime today.
I got on the road around 5:00 pm Sunday night. I made it past Wheeling as I headed west on 70, then I stopped for the night at the 350 mile point. I roughly estimated that there was another 650 to make on Monday. It was more important to get on the road and stop for a rest by 11:00 pm. I stayed at a Red Roof Inn which is pet friendly. Being somewhat organized I brought in the litter pan, Spike and his food and water dishes, my pillow and bag, and the map and directions. I even carry a water heater to make my coffee in the morning. I cleaned up, popped a Benadryl, and sacked out. In the morning I was able to hop out of bed refreshed and rested by 8:00 am. By 9:00 Spike and I were on the road. The car did great and by 9:00 pm I was at the house. I was sweating out the condition of the car the entire trip.
It was great seeing Marie, Brock, and two of the grandkids. These were the quiet ones, thank goodness. I got a load of the younger grandkids a few days later and that was a shock to the system! I'm glad they are staying with their mother, while the two older boys are staying with Brock in the trailer. All last week I worked on my projects and supervised the boys while grandma and daddy were at work. I never heard a word about the potential contract jobs in Philly so the plan now is to take some temp or Walmart work here and earn the $208 a week allowed while still collecting unemployment. Between that and Ebay I should be able to make over $4000 a month with expenses now of just $400. That should certainly help me buy a van by the end of October. It would be nice if the accident case would settle, but I will no longer rely on that.
It is a beautiful Saturday morning. I think we are all going shopping for a cheap computer desk for me to set up a permanent workplace. I expect we will find something for about $20-30. That and a fold-up chair should work fine. So there is nothing much else to share. I have loads of paperwork to finish sorting and handling, and am ready to push major items onto the Ebay store on Sunday. I did find a Universalist Unitarian Fellowship in the area and will try to get to a service on Sunday morning. That may be a good way to network for jobs, vans, and free zucchini and squash. Plus I enjoy doing good works. I see now that homelessness and social justice appear to be my personal missions.
Sunday, July 8, 2007
Still Tidying Up
Wow! I got out on Wednesday night after selling the sleep number bed for $375 cash to a very nice young man. We laid on the bed together to get the air out of the inner chambers and just chatted about moms and sons, pouncing on good deals on Craigslist, and working with computers. I was sweating it out a little that the bizarre and crazy roommate would come home and there would be a scene. But she never showed up.
It was a hot, humid, enervating day. I moved out in stages. The first stage you couldn't tell anything was gone and the car was crammed full of my craft organizer drawers, bags or crafts, and other miscellaneous items. The second trip consisted of the two sets of white plastic drawers, perfect for my van one day, plus nearly all of the Ebay items, jewelry business supplies, and every single thing that is important to me. The kitchen still looked like nothing was touched, the AC, TV, and bed were still set up, and the bathroom things were in place. Someone would have had to search my bedroom to glean my plans. But the kitchen cupboard that I used was M-T! Is that stealthy or what? LOL
After Dan came and got the bed, and after we loaded it into his teeny, tiny car, I cleaned the basement, bathroom, and kitchen. Then in order of importance I loaded the car. I didn't get any serious bites for the TV or AC, so I ran them over to my old roommate's house to give to her. She has the cats for me--a real friend! Then I made one last run back to the house for last minute stuff. I actually forgot my bathroom scale and a USB cord for my printer. Dang it! But I was out of there and felt so happy and free for the first time in months. I sang and giggled all the way back to Little Bird's house to spend the night. I told the crazy roommate in a text message the next morning that I was driving the cats to Missouri--all true except for the exact details of when.
As it turned out I couldn't make the trip happen on Thursday as hoped. It was incredibly hot and I was feeling poorly from the stress, the heat, and the lack of good nutrition, and just couldn't get moving. I actually ate nothing on Wednesday which didn't help. It felt like I was getting a cold or sinus infection so I loaded up on fruit and started to recover Friday night. I did a few more loads Friday and was still moving things into storage on Saturday morning. I spent four hours at my son's apartment just going through paperwork and finding his tax information. I threw away four huge garbage bags of paperwork and consolidated everything. My son and I went over his list of paperwork things to do and prepped for his court date Tuesday for a traffic ticket. Then I loaded up the car with more things to give Little Bird and headed over to her house to spend the night.
We went out to dinner last night and watched several episodes of The Rifleman. She gets such a kick out of the phallicly charged opening scene where Chuck Connors is rapidly firing his specially engineered rifle. It is the money shot that makes all grandmas' hearts beat faster. We often wonder if they knew what it looked like when the series was filmed. That little smirk on Chuck Connors face tells me that he knew exactly what he was doing. Heh heh.
So now it is Sunday and I'm still not on the road to Missouri. And I didn't win anything on PowerBall for July 7, 2007. Shoot! It is 8:45 am and Little Bird won't be up for hours. I'll dress and unload the car, and then work on my son's taxes with a nice cup of coffee. Around noon I'll go to his apartment and load my basket of clothes, box of toiletries, and whatever. I'll stuff food into the nooks and crannies of my trunk. Then it's back to Little Bird's house to color her hair and try to load my boxes into the back seat. Anything that won't fit is getting wrapped and addressed to mail to Marie's in Missouri. Little Bird will hold those boxes until I get to Missouri and know for a fact that I do NOT have a job. If I have a job there is no reason to mail anything out there. Then when the car is loaded and I've eaten a veggie burger for lunch, Spike the big fat kitty will be put into the car and off we'll go. It is a 983 mile trip, the beginning of it on the Pennsylvania Turnpike, a long, boring ride. And oh joy, it is the end of a major vacation week and the start of a major heatwave. It isn't getting any better this week. Oh, I have to remember to do some errands today on the way to and back from Dawg's apartment. Close safe deposit box at the bank, return item to Walmart and buy some necessities, see if the Mailboxes Etc place is open today or not, and check the PO box. And leave some envelopes for Dawg to mail my mail to me. Whee!
This is why I'm not on the road yet. LOL
It was a hot, humid, enervating day. I moved out in stages. The first stage you couldn't tell anything was gone and the car was crammed full of my craft organizer drawers, bags or crafts, and other miscellaneous items. The second trip consisted of the two sets of white plastic drawers, perfect for my van one day, plus nearly all of the Ebay items, jewelry business supplies, and every single thing that is important to me. The kitchen still looked like nothing was touched, the AC, TV, and bed were still set up, and the bathroom things were in place. Someone would have had to search my bedroom to glean my plans. But the kitchen cupboard that I used was M-T! Is that stealthy or what? LOL
After Dan came and got the bed, and after we loaded it into his teeny, tiny car, I cleaned the basement, bathroom, and kitchen. Then in order of importance I loaded the car. I didn't get any serious bites for the TV or AC, so I ran them over to my old roommate's house to give to her. She has the cats for me--a real friend! Then I made one last run back to the house for last minute stuff. I actually forgot my bathroom scale and a USB cord for my printer. Dang it! But I was out of there and felt so happy and free for the first time in months. I sang and giggled all the way back to Little Bird's house to spend the night. I told the crazy roommate in a text message the next morning that I was driving the cats to Missouri--all true except for the exact details of when.
As it turned out I couldn't make the trip happen on Thursday as hoped. It was incredibly hot and I was feeling poorly from the stress, the heat, and the lack of good nutrition, and just couldn't get moving. I actually ate nothing on Wednesday which didn't help. It felt like I was getting a cold or sinus infection so I loaded up on fruit and started to recover Friday night. I did a few more loads Friday and was still moving things into storage on Saturday morning. I spent four hours at my son's apartment just going through paperwork and finding his tax information. I threw away four huge garbage bags of paperwork and consolidated everything. My son and I went over his list of paperwork things to do and prepped for his court date Tuesday for a traffic ticket. Then I loaded up the car with more things to give Little Bird and headed over to her house to spend the night.
We went out to dinner last night and watched several episodes of The Rifleman. She gets such a kick out of the phallicly charged opening scene where Chuck Connors is rapidly firing his specially engineered rifle. It is the money shot that makes all grandmas' hearts beat faster. We often wonder if they knew what it looked like when the series was filmed. That little smirk on Chuck Connors face tells me that he knew exactly what he was doing. Heh heh.
So now it is Sunday and I'm still not on the road to Missouri. And I didn't win anything on PowerBall for July 7, 2007. Shoot! It is 8:45 am and Little Bird won't be up for hours. I'll dress and unload the car, and then work on my son's taxes with a nice cup of coffee. Around noon I'll go to his apartment and load my basket of clothes, box of toiletries, and whatever. I'll stuff food into the nooks and crannies of my trunk. Then it's back to Little Bird's house to color her hair and try to load my boxes into the back seat. Anything that won't fit is getting wrapped and addressed to mail to Marie's in Missouri. Little Bird will hold those boxes until I get to Missouri and know for a fact that I do NOT have a job. If I have a job there is no reason to mail anything out there. Then when the car is loaded and I've eaten a veggie burger for lunch, Spike the big fat kitty will be put into the car and off we'll go. It is a 983 mile trip, the beginning of it on the Pennsylvania Turnpike, a long, boring ride. And oh joy, it is the end of a major vacation week and the start of a major heatwave. It isn't getting any better this week. Oh, I have to remember to do some errands today on the way to and back from Dawg's apartment. Close safe deposit box at the bank, return item to Walmart and buy some necessities, see if the Mailboxes Etc place is open today or not, and check the PO box. And leave some envelopes for Dawg to mail my mail to me. Whee!
This is why I'm not on the road yet. LOL
Wednesday, July 4, 2007
Tidying Up
I think my roommate is starting to get the picture that there is something wrong with this picture. I went to bed early last night because I'm going to be super busy moving out today while she is at work. I woke up to find that the crappy shelves in the dining room have been cleared off and one of the three crappy shelves got moved to the basement. It is too late, of course. Earth Mother is moving on.
Yesterday morning my lithe old bod was wrapped in a very sheer, gauzy little robe that left next to nothing to the imagination. It was about 7:00 am and I was at the computer downstairs in the dining room. I heard footsteps coming down the stairs and assumed it was her, but the masculine voice that said "good morning" scared the crap out of me. I was debating how best to permanently disable him when the owner of the voice staggered into the kitchen to help himself to my private stash of Heineken from the fridge. I took that brief moment to log everything off and dash upstairs where I locked myself in my room and quickly dressed. It is easier to disable an attacker when one is fully clothed. I didn't want to accidentally knock myself out with a stray boob or something.
It turns out that she brought him home around 2:30 am after a drunken debacle at the local tavern where she plays pool and moons over the abusive ex-husband-to-be. She dates the owner there when not picking up strangers. She was still drunk when she had to get up for work yesterday and was still hung over when she got home last night. She makes it so easy for me to leave without a trace. I was going to offer to help her with the August rent, but that offer is off the table now. Her bad decisions have put me at personal risk. There have been two strange men in the house in the past week alone, not to mention the fact that her abusive husband accosted me in a public place. She is still mooning over him and has been at his house at least three nights a week since we moved in together. All it will take is another drunken, maudlin decision to bring him here for a boinking and then what am I supposed to do? She can take the abuse, I don't have to!
Unbelievable! I stopped at my old roommate's house yesterday, where she at least is trying to fix things in her life and has never put me or anyone else into any kind of danger. We had an interesting chat about this situation. Anyway, will add more later. It is nearly 7:00 am and I want to get showered and dressed, clean out my car for loading stuff, and clean the kitchen and basement. I want to get this done before the dingbat gets up and staggers off to work on the 4th of July. I'm not sure how much time I will have to get out today. I plan to leave the bed and obvious signs of my existence on the kitchen counter until the very last moment. If she doesn't search my drawers and closet then she won't realize I'm gone right away. She might get on the road for her tryst at the New Jersey shore without looking too deeply, giving me more time to get out of here. I'm hoping someone will come by and exchange some cash for the bed before 2:00 pm today, so I don't have to move it. I'm not taking any other furniture. I'll leave it for her to sell for cash. Just some nice but heavy wooden shelves and some organizer do-dads. If I don't have stuff I don't need furniture or organizers to display it on!
Yesterday morning my lithe old bod was wrapped in a very sheer, gauzy little robe that left next to nothing to the imagination. It was about 7:00 am and I was at the computer downstairs in the dining room. I heard footsteps coming down the stairs and assumed it was her, but the masculine voice that said "good morning" scared the crap out of me. I was debating how best to permanently disable him when the owner of the voice staggered into the kitchen to help himself to my private stash of Heineken from the fridge. I took that brief moment to log everything off and dash upstairs where I locked myself in my room and quickly dressed. It is easier to disable an attacker when one is fully clothed. I didn't want to accidentally knock myself out with a stray boob or something.
It turns out that she brought him home around 2:30 am after a drunken debacle at the local tavern where she plays pool and moons over the abusive ex-husband-to-be. She dates the owner there when not picking up strangers. She was still drunk when she had to get up for work yesterday and was still hung over when she got home last night. She makes it so easy for me to leave without a trace. I was going to offer to help her with the August rent, but that offer is off the table now. Her bad decisions have put me at personal risk. There have been two strange men in the house in the past week alone, not to mention the fact that her abusive husband accosted me in a public place. She is still mooning over him and has been at his house at least three nights a week since we moved in together. All it will take is another drunken, maudlin decision to bring him here for a boinking and then what am I supposed to do? She can take the abuse, I don't have to!
Unbelievable! I stopped at my old roommate's house yesterday, where she at least is trying to fix things in her life and has never put me or anyone else into any kind of danger. We had an interesting chat about this situation. Anyway, will add more later. It is nearly 7:00 am and I want to get showered and dressed, clean out my car for loading stuff, and clean the kitchen and basement. I want to get this done before the dingbat gets up and staggers off to work on the 4th of July. I'm not sure how much time I will have to get out today. I plan to leave the bed and obvious signs of my existence on the kitchen counter until the very last moment. If she doesn't search my drawers and closet then she won't realize I'm gone right away. She might get on the road for her tryst at the New Jersey shore without looking too deeply, giving me more time to get out of here. I'm hoping someone will come by and exchange some cash for the bed before 2:00 pm today, so I don't have to move it. I'm not taking any other furniture. I'll leave it for her to sell for cash. Just some nice but heavy wooden shelves and some organizer do-dads. If I don't have stuff I don't need furniture or organizers to display it on!
Monday, July 2, 2007
Countdown
The timetable isn't exact, but I'm doing it. I guess I still have more stuff than I realized. I decided to let people come and pick up the sleep number bed, the tv, and the air conditioner on Wednesday. The roommate will be at the shore that day, and I will be moving stuff out that I do want to keep. I need Wednesday to concentrate on clearing and cleaning my part of the house. I'm basically a responsible person and I want to clean up after the cats where the litter pan was in the basement. Then I will spend Thursday clearing my son's apartment in case I'm not coming back soon, and load the car with just what I want to take. Friday I'll check the radiator and the oil, stop at the bank for cash, and then for a fill up. Then I'll get the cats last and hit the road to Missouri. I expect to arrive Saturday, sometime. It depends on if I drive straight through or stop for the night. I'd plan to sleep in the car except it will be filled with cats, cages, litter pan, cooler, and luggage. The trunk will be filled with Ebay items, jewelry supplies, and packaging material. Wish I had a van!
Tomorrow I plan to get the mail forwarding service and the storage room. Today I kept putting more stuff on Ebay then had nearly 20 packages to mail. It should be the same tomorrow, so it is worth it to delay for a bit. Still no exact news on the job.
I'm fine with it all. I still need to help my son with some of his paperwork. I could do that Thursday. So now I'm resting at his apartment and having a bite to eat. In a few minutes I'll bring in more stuff I brought from the house. Stupid stuff like a brand new ironing board, a broken TV I want to fix (I know I should put it into the dumpster!) and other detritus. Why can't I stop dealing with stuff?
>^;^<
Tomorrow I plan to get the mail forwarding service and the storage room. Today I kept putting more stuff on Ebay then had nearly 20 packages to mail. It should be the same tomorrow, so it is worth it to delay for a bit. Still no exact news on the job.
I'm fine with it all. I still need to help my son with some of his paperwork. I could do that Thursday. So now I'm resting at his apartment and having a bite to eat. In a few minutes I'll bring in more stuff I brought from the house. Stupid stuff like a brand new ironing board, a broken TV I want to fix (I know I should put it into the dumpster!) and other detritus. Why can't I stop dealing with stuff?
>^;^<
Sunday, July 1, 2007
Really Downsizing Now
I don't think I can come up with any more barriers to escaping to a life on the road, at least for awhile. I've been putting more items on Ebay, and they are selling as fast as I can list them. Just some collectible items that I acquired while in the acquisition phase of life, with the great plan of reselling the items on Ebay--voila! That is what I'm doing. I'll keep listing those things today and try to get some charm bracelets listed. I backed off that for awhile to do the downsizing of the collection, trying to get the Ebay business down to a just few boxes and the jewelry making supplies.
The crazy roommate is at work and I'm slowly loading the car while she's not looking. As I mentioned before it perturbs her when boxes go out the door and her psychiatrist says she "must not be disturbed", ahem, "any further." I had been joking when referring to her as the crazy roommate, but I have been finding suicide/attention seeking notes and other things laying around. It's more like the fake suicide notes she doodles when she thinks nobody is watching. For an example of what I'm trying to escape, check out the pictures of the common rooms in the house:
OK, maybe my house looked like that once or twice but come on! After seven months shouldn't something be unpacked? Anything? I live in one small room and it is neat and orderly, even when I'm working on a jewelry or craft project. Is it me, am I expecting too much for $800 a month? Sheesh!
The tiny little spice bottle things in the right corner of the kitchen above, that is the only thing of mine you can see in the kitchen! My sprouts are in my room! LOL
OK, I'm getting out of here. Today is a quiet day of Ebaying my clutter away, and tomorrow is a day of packing and stashing into a storage room. Thursday I'm bugging out with my cats.
The crazy roommate is at work and I'm slowly loading the car while she's not looking. As I mentioned before it perturbs her when boxes go out the door and her psychiatrist says she "must not be disturbed", ahem, "any further." I had been joking when referring to her as the crazy roommate, but I have been finding suicide/attention seeking notes and other things laying around. It's more like the fake suicide notes she doodles when she thinks nobody is watching. For an example of what I'm trying to escape, check out the pictures of the common rooms in the house:
OK, maybe my house looked like that once or twice but come on! After seven months shouldn't something be unpacked? Anything? I live in one small room and it is neat and orderly, even when I'm working on a jewelry or craft project. Is it me, am I expecting too much for $800 a month? Sheesh!
The tiny little spice bottle things in the right corner of the kitchen above, that is the only thing of mine you can see in the kitchen! My sprouts are in my room! LOL
OK, I'm getting out of here. Today is a quiet day of Ebaying my clutter away, and tomorrow is a day of packing and stashing into a storage room. Thursday I'm bugging out with my cats.
Saturday, June 30, 2007
Deposition Aftermath
It is such a relief to be done with the depositions and the infernal list of documents to produce. You have no idea--as I have said previously, don't ever get injured! Anyway, I'm processing things in my mind now that this milestone is passed. You would be proud how I handled the Brandon problem last night. I spoke with him briefly, and offered to drive up to Harrisburg to retrieve him and his belongings from the evil place that keeps putting him on the street. What I learned is that "they" like him now so he wants to stay the weekend, then come mooch off me later. And he wanted to know that if he does everything I "tell him" to do, can he go back and visit his cousins? I told him, "Son, you don't have to 'visit' them because you aren't leaving." LOL
I like Tara's comment about living in a van so people won't want to stay too long. Loved it! But I don't have the van yet. So I'm going to mooch off my peep's in Missouri and get a van there. I bailed Brain out of jail and he owes me a couple of thousand dollars, which I'll take in trade while fixing up a van. Getting serious now, I'm selling the sleep number bed, the air conditioner, TV, and some furniture this weekend. I'm clearing the house I share with my crazy roommate, and I'm trying to leave by Thursday this week, after the 4th of July. This should be fun. And If I get a start date for the job I'll come back at that time.
So it's time to clean my old self up and get busy taking pictures of sale items. Then I can post them to craigslist. While that is bubbling I'll clean the car out. It is full of books I want to list on Ebay. That will make room for loading up the stuff I'm not using this weekend, to store at my son's apartment. When you are moving out on a crazy roommate you have to do it with stealth. I won't leave her totally in the lurch moneywise, but when she sees a box leave the house she is always perturbed. It's guilt on her part. She knows she didn't fulfill her end of the roommate contract.
Have you ever had to move out with stealth? Post a comment and tell me about it. Sometimes you just have to melt away into the darkness.
I like Tara's comment about living in a van so people won't want to stay too long. Loved it! But I don't have the van yet. So I'm going to mooch off my peep's in Missouri and get a van there. I bailed Brain out of jail and he owes me a couple of thousand dollars, which I'll take in trade while fixing up a van. Getting serious now, I'm selling the sleep number bed, the air conditioner, TV, and some furniture this weekend. I'm clearing the house I share with my crazy roommate, and I'm trying to leave by Thursday this week, after the 4th of July. This should be fun. And If I get a start date for the job I'll come back at that time.
So it's time to clean my old self up and get busy taking pictures of sale items. Then I can post them to craigslist. While that is bubbling I'll clean the car out. It is full of books I want to list on Ebay. That will make room for loading up the stuff I'm not using this weekend, to store at my son's apartment. When you are moving out on a crazy roommate you have to do it with stealth. I won't leave her totally in the lurch moneywise, but when she sees a box leave the house she is always perturbed. It's guilt on her part. She knows she didn't fulfill her end of the roommate contract.
Have you ever had to move out with stealth? Post a comment and tell me about it. Sometimes you just have to melt away into the darkness.
Friday, June 29, 2007
Deposition Day Done
My nerves are still vibrating, mainly from the drive into Philadelphia on the Surekill Express and back. That is the local euphemism for the Schuykil Express. It is pronounced "Skoo-kyl". We call it the other, for valid reasons. It is a two to three lane highway that should have been a four lane ( on each side! ) that runs from Philly to the rural "burbs" extending out to King of Prussia. We made it there, and back.
I'm drinking a Heineken, catching up on e-mail and stuff, and trying not to process too much yet. This was a major milestone in my case and it is a relief to get it over with. Not sure if we are going to see settlement stuff happening soon or just a year of prepping for a trial. If I could spend the next two days getting ready for a trip to Missouri I would. But it looks like I'm still giving birth to a 19 year old tonight or tomorrow. What should I do?
If I take Brandon in and stay here that's great, but I don't have the job yet. This is killing me, the waiting and the wondering. If I leave I'd have to take him with me and I'd still be responsible for getting him back to Pennsylvania in five weeks for his own legal matters. If I don't take him I risk alienating his mom and step-dad who are key to my accident case. Also if I leave now I risk alienating my son who is hoping I'll stay and take over his apartment. So if I leave now I will have given up on the legal matters.
I have to stay put another few days. Monday should be the last day I have to wait for news on the job. So I'll post more next week. It's time I concentrate on me, and clearing that house so I can go when I want to go.
I'm drinking a Heineken, catching up on e-mail and stuff, and trying not to process too much yet. This was a major milestone in my case and it is a relief to get it over with. Not sure if we are going to see settlement stuff happening soon or just a year of prepping for a trial. If I could spend the next two days getting ready for a trip to Missouri I would. But it looks like I'm still giving birth to a 19 year old tonight or tomorrow. What should I do?
If I take Brandon in and stay here that's great, but I don't have the job yet. This is killing me, the waiting and the wondering. If I leave I'd have to take him with me and I'd still be responsible for getting him back to Pennsylvania in five weeks for his own legal matters. If I don't take him I risk alienating his mom and step-dad who are key to my accident case. Also if I leave now I risk alienating my son who is hoping I'll stay and take over his apartment. So if I leave now I will have given up on the legal matters.
I have to stay put another few days. Monday should be the last day I have to wait for news on the job. So I'll post more next week. It's time I concentrate on me, and clearing that house so I can go when I want to go.
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Deposition Day
Tomorrow is to be the last Deposition Day, hopefully. It seems that each deposition necessitates more "discovery" which means I have to find more paperwork to support or refute various claims. And it seems that today is the day I'm supposed to definitively find out about one of the jobs I interviewed for several weeks ago. If I get the job that is ten minutes from my son's apartment then I will move back in with him and take over the lease. There won't be a trip to Missouri or an immediate move to being vehicularly housed. If I don't get the job I plan to move to Missouri in my car with minimal stuff that supports my online business. The rest would stay in storage in this area. I'm ok with either plan. But I'd really rather just have my accident case settled, in my favor, and have about $120,000 in my tiny paws to rebuild the purposeful and intentioned life that I want. By 6:00 pm tomorrow, Friday, I will know which of my intentions will be the fork I take in the road.
I could have left anytime, but I think that waiting until the last deposition was the optimal plan for navigating through this period of my life. It seems to be such a ridiculous juggling act. I guess that is what makes life interesting. Running away and being a hobo was never really a very good option. My son would like me to stay in the area and he is in the National Guard which surely means a trip overseas at some point. So if staying here would make him happy, then that is what I will try to do.
Well, I have the rest of this day before me. I'll primp for the deposition tomorrow, get my laundry done, and load more miscellaneous stuff that can go into storage at the apartment. Then I'm staying overnight with my son to prep him for tomorrow. I could also do more paperwork (what fun!). Just think. By this time tomorrow I'll be getting ready to drive into the city with my son for the deposition. In another 48 hours I'll have a whole new set of worries to replace tomorrow's angst. I still think I'll need a valium, but of course I don't have any and that is for the best. We'll need our wits about us.
Ok, Ms. Unfazed, get up and get going!
I could have left anytime, but I think that waiting until the last deposition was the optimal plan for navigating through this period of my life. It seems to be such a ridiculous juggling act. I guess that is what makes life interesting. Running away and being a hobo was never really a very good option. My son would like me to stay in the area and he is in the National Guard which surely means a trip overseas at some point. So if staying here would make him happy, then that is what I will try to do.
Well, I have the rest of this day before me. I'll primp for the deposition tomorrow, get my laundry done, and load more miscellaneous stuff that can go into storage at the apartment. Then I'm staying overnight with my son to prep him for tomorrow. I could also do more paperwork (what fun!). Just think. By this time tomorrow I'll be getting ready to drive into the city with my son for the deposition. In another 48 hours I'll have a whole new set of worries to replace tomorrow's angst. I still think I'll need a valium, but of course I don't have any and that is for the best. We'll need our wits about us.
Ok, Ms. Unfazed, get up and get going!
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
More Consolidating
Screw it, I almost posted my last musings regarding the events of the week. And another wrinkle was added to the fabric of my life yesterday. My friend Lisa from Georgia called me frantically yesterday and stated that her 19 year old son was "homeless" and would I run up to Harrisburg and get him. What I did was get the phone numbers of those involved and arranged for him to be sent on a bus to King of Prussia this morning. So he will either be here around noon, or around 3:30 pm. In either case, my day is going to be wicked fun.
I'm still taking the cats to a friend's house for safekeeping tonight. But it looks like the move out will be postponed, oh and I got late news yesterday that I am still in the running for the lead role of three jobs at one place I interviewed. It is a contract-to-hire, which means about 3 months of good dollar per hour money until they "own" me. And with no idea regarding when the accident case might settle in my favor (if at all) I think I will have to take the job. It is 10 minutes from my son's apartment and my son wants to move, so I may just take over his apartment until the uncertainty factor subsides. Gee, every move I make seems to be so blasted expedient. I am getting tired of it.
Another wrinkle regarding my friend's son Brandon, is that he is a witness to my accident. I heard through the grapevine that the defendants want to take his deposition but his mother stated that she doesn't know his whereabouts and he doesn't have an address, which is kind of true. So I'm stuck with also "not knowing" where he is. He probably has nothing material to add, but I will quiz him today before I decide officially if I should produce him. And my son is being depositioned Friday so he also cannot know about Brandon. I've already been depositioned and as long as I'm not officially asked about it I can just keep my mouth shut. I will pick Brandon up at the bus station and keep him sheltered for the time being. Probably at the roommate situation.
So I have to figure out how I'm going to organize things. If I get news of the job this week then I can afford to stay at the roommate situation through August while trying to take over Dawg's apartment. That would ease the situation because then I wouldn't need to cause any drama there right now and my son would be happy that he can move out early to be closer to his job and girlfriend. But my roommate's daughter might be coming home from Texas the first of August and neither of us would want Brandon to be there. So, what to do, what to do?
If I had a camper van I'd stick him in there....LOL
I'm still taking the cats to a friend's house for safekeeping tonight. But it looks like the move out will be postponed, oh and I got late news yesterday that I am still in the running for the lead role of three jobs at one place I interviewed. It is a contract-to-hire, which means about 3 months of good dollar per hour money until they "own" me. And with no idea regarding when the accident case might settle in my favor (if at all) I think I will have to take the job. It is 10 minutes from my son's apartment and my son wants to move, so I may just take over his apartment until the uncertainty factor subsides. Gee, every move I make seems to be so blasted expedient. I am getting tired of it.
Another wrinkle regarding my friend's son Brandon, is that he is a witness to my accident. I heard through the grapevine that the defendants want to take his deposition but his mother stated that she doesn't know his whereabouts and he doesn't have an address, which is kind of true. So I'm stuck with also "not knowing" where he is. He probably has nothing material to add, but I will quiz him today before I decide officially if I should produce him. And my son is being depositioned Friday so he also cannot know about Brandon. I've already been depositioned and as long as I'm not officially asked about it I can just keep my mouth shut. I will pick Brandon up at the bus station and keep him sheltered for the time being. Probably at the roommate situation.
So I have to figure out how I'm going to organize things. If I get news of the job this week then I can afford to stay at the roommate situation through August while trying to take over Dawg's apartment. That would ease the situation because then I wouldn't need to cause any drama there right now and my son would be happy that he can move out early to be closer to his job and girlfriend. But my roommate's daughter might be coming home from Texas the first of August and neither of us would want Brandon to be there. So, what to do, what to do?
If I had a camper van I'd stick him in there....LOL
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Consolidating
I don't like having to censor myself on my own blog today. But the rapid changes are coming to a head as of Thursday this week--today is Tuesday--so I should keep my actual plans to myself until Friday. I share a computer with a roommate in a situation that is bizarre, though she seems oblivious to my blog. I try to "leave no trace".
You really don't know someone until you live with them. I can get along with anyone and I do, but there are things I will not put up with. We have been here for seven months and she has not unpacked anything. That wouldn't be so bad except that *everything* is piled up *everywhere*. And she pays her share of the rent and expenses later and later each month because she is blowing money. And she's on Match.com dating everybody she can, all at once, and is planning to bring strangers here constantly.
I kind of think the fact that the house looks like a warehouse will fend off serial visitors for a bit, at least long enough for me to consolidate. To top it all off her abusive ex-husband-to-be threatened me with a pool cue in a local pub with no warning, because he feels like he is entitled to abuse her and then her friends by default. I was so angry I could have beaten him to a bloody pulp with that stick--but I will deal with him after I'm done with my own thing. Never do anything that messes up your own stable situation. That is the best rule in life.
The cats are going to a friend's house Wednesday night, until I can get on the road next week. Each day I take a little bit to my son's apartment, but plan to get a small storage room Wednesday. I'm taking stuff to his house tonight, stuff that won't be noticed, then in the morning I'll get the storage room. The stuff is still important for my online business, else I'd ditch it. If I can pull it off tomorrow I can take three loads to storage and be done. I have bits of furniture that I plan to keep for my van, mostly plastic drawers. These are mainly bulky, else I would be able to move everything in one trip. Getting the van first is not panning out, so I'm going with the car for now. It is going into the shop next week for a new radiator, oil pump, and timing chain. That is to help ensure that it will make it to Missouri. The only stuff going with me to Missouri will be my laptop, printer, jewelry business items, Ebay items, clothing, sprouting items, and cats. The sleep number bed might get sold before then. I'm going to miss that the most. But van dwelling and even ultra-lightweight backpacking has no room for luxury items like a sleep number bed. Alas...
OK, this is going to get saved to draft and published after I'm out of here! It's been over three weeks since I was submitted for the potential contract jobs. I will have to presume at this point that I'm not going to get them. It's time for Earth Mother to move on.
You really don't know someone until you live with them. I can get along with anyone and I do, but there are things I will not put up with. We have been here for seven months and she has not unpacked anything. That wouldn't be so bad except that *everything* is piled up *everywhere*. And she pays her share of the rent and expenses later and later each month because she is blowing money. And she's on Match.com dating everybody she can, all at once, and is planning to bring strangers here constantly.
I kind of think the fact that the house looks like a warehouse will fend off serial visitors for a bit, at least long enough for me to consolidate. To top it all off her abusive ex-husband-to-be threatened me with a pool cue in a local pub with no warning, because he feels like he is entitled to abuse her and then her friends by default. I was so angry I could have beaten him to a bloody pulp with that stick--but I will deal with him after I'm done with my own thing. Never do anything that messes up your own stable situation. That is the best rule in life.
The cats are going to a friend's house Wednesday night, until I can get on the road next week. Each day I take a little bit to my son's apartment, but plan to get a small storage room Wednesday. I'm taking stuff to his house tonight, stuff that won't be noticed, then in the morning I'll get the storage room. The stuff is still important for my online business, else I'd ditch it. If I can pull it off tomorrow I can take three loads to storage and be done. I have bits of furniture that I plan to keep for my van, mostly plastic drawers. These are mainly bulky, else I would be able to move everything in one trip. Getting the van first is not panning out, so I'm going with the car for now. It is going into the shop next week for a new radiator, oil pump, and timing chain. That is to help ensure that it will make it to Missouri. The only stuff going with me to Missouri will be my laptop, printer, jewelry business items, Ebay items, clothing, sprouting items, and cats. The sleep number bed might get sold before then. I'm going to miss that the most. But van dwelling and even ultra-lightweight backpacking has no room for luxury items like a sleep number bed. Alas...
OK, this is going to get saved to draft and published after I'm out of here! It's been over three weeks since I was submitted for the potential contract jobs. I will have to presume at this point that I'm not going to get them. It's time for Earth Mother to move on.
Monday, June 25, 2007
Managing Change
Changes are coming rapidly and I'm not posting too many details until I know for sure which way the wind is blowing. Either I'm taking a local job, or I'm taking a job in Atlanta, or I'm going to put my meager belongings in storage and just car camp until things finish out in my legal case. In either case, there is a lot of change coming. I have to tread lightly and be diligent about how I go about things. Once I'm in the place I need to be, past all this current uncertainty, I will post a lot. I think that describing the way I'm managing change is beneficial for anyone reading my blog. I follow some real simple rules in my life, like "never pee in your own sandbox". I'm not going to upset my applecart by instigating any drama. About a week ago there was a big drama that my roommate's abusive ex-husband-to-be tried to draw me into, but EYE didn't bite. So I'm slowly consolidating my material position and planning the best route through the morass of uncertainty and limbo. Rest assured, I will be moving on.
Friday, June 15, 2007
Chilling Out
I got through two interviews and now I'm chilling out, though I spent most of the day listening to Lissa whinge about the deprivations of having to do the deposition next week. She's a character. I know she has my back and at this point I'm going to relax and push through with my own short-term plans.
Today I'm getting a bunch of paperwork organized and hopefully will be able to purge more of it. The car is loaded up with the last of the miscellaneous stuff which I will sort and purge at the roommate's house. Then I think I'll just stay in tonight and work on Ebay stuff to list over the weekend. So nothing too earthshaking is going on. I have a vision of what I want to do and will just wait it out to see which way I'm going to jump. If I don't have a job after my son's deposition on the 29th, then I will let Crazy Girl know I'm leaving and I will sell my car, rent a van, pack up everything and the cats, and go to Missouri. I'll leave my "stuff" in a storage locker, put the Ebay store on vacation settings, and bring back the van because it is cheaper than doing the one-way. Then I'll hop Greyhound and head back to Missouri. That will allow me to save more money for the van a bit faster. This waiting is costing me money.
I may consider just taking the necessities in my car. I learned a long time ago not to plan for anything but just have multiple backup plans and the flexibility to jump in the best forseen direction.
Today I'm getting a bunch of paperwork organized and hopefully will be able to purge more of it. The car is loaded up with the last of the miscellaneous stuff which I will sort and purge at the roommate's house. Then I think I'll just stay in tonight and work on Ebay stuff to list over the weekend. So nothing too earthshaking is going on. I have a vision of what I want to do and will just wait it out to see which way I'm going to jump. If I don't have a job after my son's deposition on the 29th, then I will let Crazy Girl know I'm leaving and I will sell my car, rent a van, pack up everything and the cats, and go to Missouri. I'll leave my "stuff" in a storage locker, put the Ebay store on vacation settings, and bring back the van because it is cheaper than doing the one-way. Then I'll hop Greyhound and head back to Missouri. That will allow me to save more money for the van a bit faster. This waiting is costing me money.
I may consider just taking the necessities in my car. I learned a long time ago not to plan for anything but just have multiple backup plans and the flexibility to jump in the best forseen direction.
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Van Dwelling
As I was researching ways to survive without a permanent home or income (ROFL), I came across http://www.hooptylife.com/. April has had her share of employment issues and describes her own decison to live her life in a van. From her site I learned about the Van Dwellers group on Yahoo, and I've been surreptiously studying their pictures, tips, and strategies for a permanent mobile life. There are legal issues of domicile and even issues with sleeping in a vehicle. Apparently, you are only "allowed" to sleep in a vehicle if it's a bonafide RV parked in a bonafide RV park. I am so appreciative of the things that have been posted. Did you know you aren't supposed to sleep in a vehicle in a rest area on the interstate highway system? I sort of knew that, plus I knew it was a bad idea due to crime.
It is also illegal to sleep on the street or in public view, lest the homeless offend our sensibilities, in most urban areas. Like a sane person would want to do that, but if you are at rock bottom how are you supposed to get back on top? You need an address and a phone to get a job, and you need a job and good credit to get housing. It is a vicious cycle. Yeah, I know that people who have jobs and housing think that the homeless are scum. I call that holier-than-thou attitude the denial that they are only two paychecks away from being homeless themselves. I think the attitude of "it can't happen to me because" I am so perfect, I have planned it all better, I'm smarter, etcetera, is just camofluage for the reality that people are insecure. It's the "it can't/won't happen to me" mentality. I'm so totally not secure anymore that I'm secure in the knowledge that I have the means to survive without sleeping on a public street. I can at least sleep in the woods. I'd rather sleep in a van and be able to move around easily. The van is some protection from thugs, the public, and the elements, while mobility gives you better opportunities to forage and make some money. I'm going to be an upscale homeless bum, a hobo on wheels, a human turtle with my metallic shelter on my back. I have a friend who wants to come with me, but we'll have to get her a van of her own.
I posted this on April's site in March, and I'm posting it on my blog for my own archival purposes. I want to know why I am doing what I'm doing. In a year I'll be in my van down by a river, somewhere.
I am in the same boat now at age 50 as a result of a personal injury, and have been battling my way back to my former career as a software engineer. You are only as good as your last reference and if you spend a year and a half learning to walk that last reference is too long ago for the regular hiring processors.
I reinvented myself as a data analyst and worked for a temp agency at $30 an hour (used to make $80, and yes I saved my money for a rainy day–that doesn’t always work as well as we hope). Then I moved back into software development contracting at $60 an hour. I’m working at a horrible assignment at the moment, due to be over in a few weeks. I will be eligible for unemployment, thank god. And I will be in a better position to get that next contract, I hope.
Anyway, what is different now, from before the accident, is that I have already gone bankrupt, paid cash for a car, and have saved cash for a decent used van. At the moment I live with my son, no lease for me. We can help each other out. But realistically I need to provide for myself and my retirement years. The plan is to get that used van and make sure it is in excellent driving condition first, then my son and I are fixing it up to be a “camper”. That’s what I told him. It’s really going to be my last-ditch effort to live in relative comfort and safety without being in servitude to a lease. I know I need to be mobile and adaptable.
I have everything of value in a storage room, and I’ve pared it down to the most important things for survival. I plan to get a service trailer, like the innocuous ones used by a lawn service, for carrying extra supplies and my “stuff” when I have to become mobile. The plus side is that trailer can be used to make a living trash-picking and selling at flea markets if I have to. I also have an Ebay store where I sell miniature crafts, something I enjoy and can do well, plus it takes up very little space as a hobby and vocation! I keep it active even while working because I know I’ll may need that store to buy gas or food supplies one day.
For my health I’m serious hiker, a vegan, and I grow my own sprouts. You can do this anywhere, even hiking, even in the dead of winter. I love brown rice, beans, salads, and Indian food. With much experience as an ultra lightweight backpacker I think that cooking is the least of my issues if permanently homeless.
I’m considering buying a $200 a month catastrophic health care policy, but for now I’m living on the edge. Maybe if my accident case is ever settled I can afford it. And now I’m saving money to buy mountain property at a tax sale somewhere where I can at least have a permanent address and park the van and trailer if I have to. I could eventually have a well put in. I’d really love to be able to afford a ready-made tiny living space that is towable. I saw one on Oprah a few weeks ago. That would be so awesome! At least I have a dream and maybe I can achieve it. One thing is certain. I will never go back to believing in home ownership or company loyalty and retirement. That’s unrealistic in the present circumstances.
I appreciate all the information I find on this site. This site and others like it help me figure out the best plan for me based on what is realistic.
Thank you, April!
Haven't seen anything posted from April in several months. I hope she is ok.
It is also illegal to sleep on the street or in public view, lest the homeless offend our sensibilities, in most urban areas. Like a sane person would want to do that, but if you are at rock bottom how are you supposed to get back on top? You need an address and a phone to get a job, and you need a job and good credit to get housing. It is a vicious cycle. Yeah, I know that people who have jobs and housing think that the homeless are scum. I call that holier-than-thou attitude the denial that they are only two paychecks away from being homeless themselves. I think the attitude of "it can't happen to me because" I am so perfect, I have planned it all better, I'm smarter, etcetera, is just camofluage for the reality that people are insecure. It's the "it can't/won't happen to me" mentality. I'm so totally not secure anymore that I'm secure in the knowledge that I have the means to survive without sleeping on a public street. I can at least sleep in the woods. I'd rather sleep in a van and be able to move around easily. The van is some protection from thugs, the public, and the elements, while mobility gives you better opportunities to forage and make some money. I'm going to be an upscale homeless bum, a hobo on wheels, a human turtle with my metallic shelter on my back. I have a friend who wants to come with me, but we'll have to get her a van of her own.
I posted this on April's site in March, and I'm posting it on my blog for my own archival purposes. I want to know why I am doing what I'm doing. In a year I'll be in my van down by a river, somewhere.
I am in the same boat now at age 50 as a result of a personal injury, and have been battling my way back to my former career as a software engineer. You are only as good as your last reference and if you spend a year and a half learning to walk that last reference is too long ago for the regular hiring processors.
I reinvented myself as a data analyst and worked for a temp agency at $30 an hour (used to make $80, and yes I saved my money for a rainy day–that doesn’t always work as well as we hope). Then I moved back into software development contracting at $60 an hour. I’m working at a horrible assignment at the moment, due to be over in a few weeks. I will be eligible for unemployment, thank god. And I will be in a better position to get that next contract, I hope.
Anyway, what is different now, from before the accident, is that I have already gone bankrupt, paid cash for a car, and have saved cash for a decent used van. At the moment I live with my son, no lease for me. We can help each other out. But realistically I need to provide for myself and my retirement years. The plan is to get that used van and make sure it is in excellent driving condition first, then my son and I are fixing it up to be a “camper”. That’s what I told him. It’s really going to be my last-ditch effort to live in relative comfort and safety without being in servitude to a lease. I know I need to be mobile and adaptable.
I have everything of value in a storage room, and I’ve pared it down to the most important things for survival. I plan to get a service trailer, like the innocuous ones used by a lawn service, for carrying extra supplies and my “stuff” when I have to become mobile. The plus side is that trailer can be used to make a living trash-picking and selling at flea markets if I have to. I also have an Ebay store where I sell miniature crafts, something I enjoy and can do well, plus it takes up very little space as a hobby and vocation! I keep it active even while working because I know I’ll may need that store to buy gas or food supplies one day.
For my health I’m serious hiker, a vegan, and I grow my own sprouts. You can do this anywhere, even hiking, even in the dead of winter. I love brown rice, beans, salads, and Indian food. With much experience as an ultra lightweight backpacker I think that cooking is the least of my issues if permanently homeless.
I’m considering buying a $200 a month catastrophic health care policy, but for now I’m living on the edge. Maybe if my accident case is ever settled I can afford it. And now I’m saving money to buy mountain property at a tax sale somewhere where I can at least have a permanent address and park the van and trailer if I have to. I could eventually have a well put in. I’d really love to be able to afford a ready-made tiny living space that is towable. I saw one on Oprah a few weeks ago. That would be so awesome! At least I have a dream and maybe I can achieve it. One thing is certain. I will never go back to believing in home ownership or company loyalty and retirement. That’s unrealistic in the present circumstances.
I appreciate all the information I find on this site. This site and others like it help me figure out the best plan for me based on what is realistic.
Thank you, April!
Haven't seen anything posted from April in several months. I hope she is ok.
Underemployed
I'm so liking the state of being unemployed--at least the pay is regular! For many years I ran my own software consulting business and did pretty well until the accident. What happens after an accident is that your energies slowly erode and everything becomes so much harder, even day-to-day living. Just going to work at all is a project. At first you think that it will get better after the cast comes off, but then you still can't put weight on your leg. After another couple of months the current contract ends and you start to look for more work. But you can't get a job if you are on crutches. Try it, you'll see.
Having the appearance of disability makes you invisible to the world. If I went out with my son, people directed their comments to him and not to me. I have sat in the wheelchair and seen people race me to the grocery store door, only to slam it in my face. They woudn't do it if I was able-bodied. If I did manage to get to the door first folks would literally leap over my wheelchair to beat me inside. And I never knew how difficult it would be to get work in my field from a position of weakness.
So I ended up spending my savings to survive, then after losing current referrals I went back to work making 1/3 less than I was used to making. Again, in the software business you are only as good as your most recent referral and you need three months worth of operating capital while you wait for clients to pay you. I was supporting three teenage kids at the time, I cut back everywhere I could. Even when I made over $100k a year, I bought about $300 worth of clothing at K-Mart or Walmart each year. The basics, really. Between mortgage and taxes I was eaten alive by the system, IMO. I wish I had known then what I know now. I'd have been living in the van instead of a house.
I somehow lucked out with two clients who absolutely needed me to produce work for them when they cracked the whip, but was in the position where paying me was not their top priority as it was mine. I actually got the point with both of them that I could literally say "I can't afford to work for you anymore." I couldn't pay my housing, my electric bill, business insurance, or even gas for my car. I was also waiting desperately for a resolution to my accident case so I might keep up a semblance of normal living with a car, phone, and a reasonable place to live. I lost it all with a vengeance! I had to deal with one client bouncing a 10,000 check to me and found this out while on the first vacation I'd had in 6 years--a cheap vacation that only cost me the gas and the food, as I camped out on the beach at Assateague with my beau, the closest I ever got to a soul mate in my life. I still love him and think about him everyday, but with my lousy luck with finances and life, it isn't going to happen.
Which brings me to the current state of affairs. I ended up giving up my house, which had been in the midst of DIY renovations when I got hurt, so it wasn't immediately sellable. It had a lien on it from my medical insurance carrier, thanks to an idiot attorney who mishandled the entire case. But I took it like a woman and I got rid of everything I owned that I didn't need, took a temp job, and rented a room from a friend who needed help with finances and her clutter. I paid cash for a $2000 car and continued to convert my trash to cash using Ebay and flea markets. I worked at hiking and camping so I'd be physically fit and ready for anything. I needed my confidence back. After a year of temping as a data analyst I decided to try to get a real job in IT again. I'm a .NET Architect and a SQL Server DBA. I went back to an old consulting company and ended up getting a contract-to-perm job immediately, and the hourly rate was ok. I interviewed on Friday morning and was working on Monday. It was to be my last hope for a chance to be normal again, not facing the potential prospect of living on the edge of society out of my car, or worse.
The new job was an interesting challenge and used all my skills with C++ and C#. I worked with realtime server software that communicated with specialized hardware and with a .NET Windows application that used remoting and events to pass messages across domains. Everyone praised my efforts and stated that I was a total godsend to the project--literally four developers rolled into one. I was offered the job of Director of Software Engineering. It would have been a wonderful opportunity if not for the fact that the company was sold and it turns out the product had never made a profit in over 12 years. WTF? If not for bad luck I'd have no luck at all. At one point the CFO tried to strong-arm me into taking that permanent job to save the company money on the contract rate. I had already decided the first month of the contract to just take my contract money and run after I saw the shenanigans going on. The lying, the backstabbing, not to mention the employee checks bouncing because of not getting paid. The hardware was broken and nobody knew why. I stayed on contract, thank-you-very-much! I saved my money, continued to sell off my excess crap, and just outwaited and outwitted him. I ended up working on contract for 8 months, which is better pay than as a full-time employee. After they started bouncing checks to the agency and then ignored the bills I was formally released from work. And unemployment was there ready to help break my fall. I didn't think I was eligible and hadn't planned on trying to get it, but they contacted me. As it turns out, being 50 and unemployed opens up a world of assistance I never knew existed. So this college educated uber-software engineer is on the dole. $2080 a month is not too shabby--my expenses are only $800 at the moment. I have about $1000 a month in other income, and can double that if I concentrate on Ebay. Heck, I can make up to $208 a week at McDonald's if I want to, in addition to the UE. I'm not too shy or vain to work.
The lesson I think I'm supposed to get out of all of this is that I'm not supposed to have a job, or a normal life to be successful. OK! I get it! Yes, my life is totally an alternative lifestyle that has nothing to do with gender or normalcy. I'd give anything to have a life where I wake up with my soul mate and have a cup of coffee as we encourage each other and look forward to more good things in life. But the odds of that every happening now are ludicrous to consider. My only alternative that I can see is to run way and live in a van down by the river.
Sometimes I think that if only I could have in my hands all at once all the money that is due to me right this minute, I could turn it all around. Before the accident I was saving money to invest in one of my own software ideas. That idea is now about 7 years too old, so I need a new plan that is at least doable. But at the same time I'm struggling physically and now I'm struggling emotionally. I'm not sure what to do next so I'm doing nothing except marking time. As my son pointed out, I probably need the break.
He knows that for the past 23-24 years of his life, his mom has been the head-of-household, chief breadwinner, and the queen of making every second count. Regimented, over-scheduled, and overwhelmed, I have had three or more jobs at one time, finished college, worked like a dog, started a business, bought a house, and juggled everybodies' schedules and met their needs. I'm a testament to what *can* be done. I kept it up until years after "the accident." To take total responsibility for the place where I am now, I made the decision to give it all up. The van down by the river actually sounds pretty good to me now. I want to drink beer and chase women. I should have plenty of time to do that when I'm living in a van down by the river. Thanks, Chris Farley! We loved you!
Having the appearance of disability makes you invisible to the world. If I went out with my son, people directed their comments to him and not to me. I have sat in the wheelchair and seen people race me to the grocery store door, only to slam it in my face. They woudn't do it if I was able-bodied. If I did manage to get to the door first folks would literally leap over my wheelchair to beat me inside. And I never knew how difficult it would be to get work in my field from a position of weakness.
So I ended up spending my savings to survive, then after losing current referrals I went back to work making 1/3 less than I was used to making. Again, in the software business you are only as good as your most recent referral and you need three months worth of operating capital while you wait for clients to pay you. I was supporting three teenage kids at the time, I cut back everywhere I could. Even when I made over $100k a year, I bought about $300 worth of clothing at K-Mart or Walmart each year. The basics, really. Between mortgage and taxes I was eaten alive by the system, IMO. I wish I had known then what I know now. I'd have been living in the van instead of a house.
I somehow lucked out with two clients who absolutely needed me to produce work for them when they cracked the whip, but was in the position where paying me was not their top priority as it was mine. I actually got the point with both of them that I could literally say "I can't afford to work for you anymore." I couldn't pay my housing, my electric bill, business insurance, or even gas for my car. I was also waiting desperately for a resolution to my accident case so I might keep up a semblance of normal living with a car, phone, and a reasonable place to live. I lost it all with a vengeance! I had to deal with one client bouncing a 10,000 check to me and found this out while on the first vacation I'd had in 6 years--a cheap vacation that only cost me the gas and the food, as I camped out on the beach at Assateague with my beau, the closest I ever got to a soul mate in my life. I still love him and think about him everyday, but with my lousy luck with finances and life, it isn't going to happen.
Which brings me to the current state of affairs. I ended up giving up my house, which had been in the midst of DIY renovations when I got hurt, so it wasn't immediately sellable. It had a lien on it from my medical insurance carrier, thanks to an idiot attorney who mishandled the entire case. But I took it like a woman and I got rid of everything I owned that I didn't need, took a temp job, and rented a room from a friend who needed help with finances and her clutter. I paid cash for a $2000 car and continued to convert my trash to cash using Ebay and flea markets. I worked at hiking and camping so I'd be physically fit and ready for anything. I needed my confidence back. After a year of temping as a data analyst I decided to try to get a real job in IT again. I'm a .NET Architect and a SQL Server DBA. I went back to an old consulting company and ended up getting a contract-to-perm job immediately, and the hourly rate was ok. I interviewed on Friday morning and was working on Monday. It was to be my last hope for a chance to be normal again, not facing the potential prospect of living on the edge of society out of my car, or worse.
The new job was an interesting challenge and used all my skills with C++ and C#. I worked with realtime server software that communicated with specialized hardware and with a .NET Windows application that used remoting and events to pass messages across domains. Everyone praised my efforts and stated that I was a total godsend to the project--literally four developers rolled into one. I was offered the job of Director of Software Engineering. It would have been a wonderful opportunity if not for the fact that the company was sold and it turns out the product had never made a profit in over 12 years. WTF? If not for bad luck I'd have no luck at all. At one point the CFO tried to strong-arm me into taking that permanent job to save the company money on the contract rate. I had already decided the first month of the contract to just take my contract money and run after I saw the shenanigans going on. The lying, the backstabbing, not to mention the employee checks bouncing because of not getting paid. The hardware was broken and nobody knew why. I stayed on contract, thank-you-very-much! I saved my money, continued to sell off my excess crap, and just outwaited and outwitted him. I ended up working on contract for 8 months, which is better pay than as a full-time employee. After they started bouncing checks to the agency and then ignored the bills I was formally released from work. And unemployment was there ready to help break my fall. I didn't think I was eligible and hadn't planned on trying to get it, but they contacted me. As it turns out, being 50 and unemployed opens up a world of assistance I never knew existed. So this college educated uber-software engineer is on the dole. $2080 a month is not too shabby--my expenses are only $800 at the moment. I have about $1000 a month in other income, and can double that if I concentrate on Ebay. Heck, I can make up to $208 a week at McDonald's if I want to, in addition to the UE. I'm not too shy or vain to work.
The lesson I think I'm supposed to get out of all of this is that I'm not supposed to have a job, or a normal life to be successful. OK! I get it! Yes, my life is totally an alternative lifestyle that has nothing to do with gender or normalcy. I'd give anything to have a life where I wake up with my soul mate and have a cup of coffee as we encourage each other and look forward to more good things in life. But the odds of that every happening now are ludicrous to consider. My only alternative that I can see is to run way and live in a van down by the river.
Sometimes I think that if only I could have in my hands all at once all the money that is due to me right this minute, I could turn it all around. Before the accident I was saving money to invest in one of my own software ideas. That idea is now about 7 years too old, so I need a new plan that is at least doable. But at the same time I'm struggling physically and now I'm struggling emotionally. I'm not sure what to do next so I'm doing nothing except marking time. As my son pointed out, I probably need the break.
He knows that for the past 23-24 years of his life, his mom has been the head-of-household, chief breadwinner, and the queen of making every second count. Regimented, over-scheduled, and overwhelmed, I have had three or more jobs at one time, finished college, worked like a dog, started a business, bought a house, and juggled everybodies' schedules and met their needs. I'm a testament to what *can* be done. I kept it up until years after "the accident." To take total responsibility for the place where I am now, I made the decision to give it all up. The van down by the river actually sounds pretty good to me now. I want to drink beer and chase women. I should have plenty of time to do that when I'm living in a van down by the river. Thanks, Chris Farley! We loved you!
Monday, May 14, 2007
Mother's Day
I got a really nice gold heart shaped pendant on a delicate chain for Mother's Day. I have a really cool kid. Nate is in the National Guard, plus he works for the National Guard through the week as his 9-5 job. He's a go-getter. We just learned that he probably won't be going "over there" until 2009. I pray...
I'm enjoying this new blog I've started. But it seems that this is such a self-absorbed activity. I suppose an on-line journal is by its nature a self-absorbed activity. If I can watch Charm School and be captivated by the self-absorbed antics of "reality tv" denizens, then why not post a self-absorbed blog? Really, it's just a how-to book on finding one's own path. After spending 50 years living with others and being somewhat defined by those relationships and my career, I find this to be a helpful tool for me. I've either been a child, a daughter, a roommate, a wife, a mother, and a roommate again. I'm still a mother, but the boys are grown. I blinked and things changed 180 degrees. From now on my life is exactly what I will make of it. No more excuses, such as having to work, pay the mortgage, blah, blah, blah. There is nothing at the end of all that effort that will be a suitable recompense for the time spent. I really don't care how high the grass grows--capice? LOL
Right now I'm basking in the glow of a satisfying meal of a Burger King veggie burger. I was running lots of errands and decided a treat was due. I have a bunch of jewelry findings to try out in my new people-sized jewelry designs tonight. This is a little break while the dishwasher finishes its cycle. Plus it was time for a Heineken, a vegan beer. Yup, I'm a born-again vegan. WWJE?
I own being a cantankerous, old, mean customer! I visited five stores today. I walked out of two, and was a little annoyed with one but we still conducted business. Let's start with Office Depot. It's close to Nathan's apartment where I am hanging out, so I started there with my bag of spent inkjet cartridges. All they had on the shelves were multi-packs and they would only let you turn in one cartridge per package, period. That seemed like such a rip-off that I just left. I was going to buy copy paper and packaging tape, but no matter. Off I trotted to Walmart just down the way. I thought I'd look at their jewelry findings, even though it is at least a half mile walk to that department. Sheesh! I dread going in that store sometimes. But I found a bunch of potential charms and findings on sale (findings are the metal connectors). I probably had $50 worth of stuff in my arms, plus a pair of lightweight khakis to extend my meager wardrobe a bit. I searched for a register and the lines were horrendous. There were six 7-10 items only lanes, and two regular lanes which is what my stuff qualified for. I stood, and stood, and stood in that line and happened to notice that the cashier was moving in s-l-o-o-o-o-w m-o-t-i-o-o-o-o-n, literally! I could not believe it. She painstakingly folded each item in current customer's pile, and I couldn't believe it, even though this is the second time I've seen a deliberate work slowdown in at a Walmart cash register. Am I the only one who's seen this behavior? I've been a cashier and only a nutcase would drag the day out like that. I used to pride myself on actually working with a little teensy bit of self-respect. So I just walked out without a word and left all the stuff on the counter. Normally I would have said "if you have that much time on your hands to work so slow, then you have time to put all this shit away." But I've mellowed a bit over the years. >^;^<
I head on over to JoAnne's, where I find oodles of findings on sale. I stocked up, made my purchase, and it was a pleasant, efficient exchange. They didn't even ask for my zip code! Yeah! Staples is right next door, so I turned in all 13 spent cartridges for $3 coupons good for 90 days on ANYTHING you buy in the store, not just cartridges. Wow! The cashier took three of them off right there. I have $30 left, usable 3 coupons at a time. I'm SO GLAD I WALKED OUT OF Office Despot!!! The very patient and efficient cashier was able to simultaneously convince me to sign up for the "bonus card" thing again, because it's good for a 10% rebate on cartridges and paper products every 90 days. I can handle that. And she didn't bother me for my zip code!
After a quick run into the big Post Office at Southeastern, PA, picked up two packages I bought on Ebay and mailed the miniature bracelet. Next stop, after a mad dash through King of Prussia, was Michael's, another craft store. I found most of what I needed and a bit more besides, then of course the cash register debacle over a zip code commenced. I either say 90210, or "no" when asked. I wish they'd just stop it already. Please, please, please leave my zip code alone. My goal is not to have a freaking zip code already. Yep, I'm getting older and more cantankerous by the minute. Office Despot is off my list permanently, and Walmart I'll just keep having fun with them, but not very often. I get most of my clothes and books at the thrift stores or flea markets, and pretty much everything else on Ebay. I just waited too long to get the cartridges. Sometimes you need it now.
I'm enjoying this new blog I've started. But it seems that this is such a self-absorbed activity. I suppose an on-line journal is by its nature a self-absorbed activity. If I can watch Charm School and be captivated by the self-absorbed antics of "reality tv" denizens, then why not post a self-absorbed blog? Really, it's just a how-to book on finding one's own path. After spending 50 years living with others and being somewhat defined by those relationships and my career, I find this to be a helpful tool for me. I've either been a child, a daughter, a roommate, a wife, a mother, and a roommate again. I'm still a mother, but the boys are grown. I blinked and things changed 180 degrees. From now on my life is exactly what I will make of it. No more excuses, such as having to work, pay the mortgage, blah, blah, blah. There is nothing at the end of all that effort that will be a suitable recompense for the time spent. I really don't care how high the grass grows--capice? LOL
Right now I'm basking in the glow of a satisfying meal of a Burger King veggie burger. I was running lots of errands and decided a treat was due. I have a bunch of jewelry findings to try out in my new people-sized jewelry designs tonight. This is a little break while the dishwasher finishes its cycle. Plus it was time for a Heineken, a vegan beer. Yup, I'm a born-again vegan. WWJE?
I own being a cantankerous, old, mean customer! I visited five stores today. I walked out of two, and was a little annoyed with one but we still conducted business. Let's start with Office Depot. It's close to Nathan's apartment where I am hanging out, so I started there with my bag of spent inkjet cartridges. All they had on the shelves were multi-packs and they would only let you turn in one cartridge per package, period. That seemed like such a rip-off that I just left. I was going to buy copy paper and packaging tape, but no matter. Off I trotted to Walmart just down the way. I thought I'd look at their jewelry findings, even though it is at least a half mile walk to that department. Sheesh! I dread going in that store sometimes. But I found a bunch of potential charms and findings on sale (findings are the metal connectors). I probably had $50 worth of stuff in my arms, plus a pair of lightweight khakis to extend my meager wardrobe a bit. I searched for a register and the lines were horrendous. There were six 7-10 items only lanes, and two regular lanes which is what my stuff qualified for. I stood, and stood, and stood in that line and happened to notice that the cashier was moving in s-l-o-o-o-o-w m-o-t-i-o-o-o-o-n, literally! I could not believe it. She painstakingly folded each item in current customer's pile, and I couldn't believe it, even though this is the second time I've seen a deliberate work slowdown in at a Walmart cash register. Am I the only one who's seen this behavior? I've been a cashier and only a nutcase would drag the day out like that. I used to pride myself on actually working with a little teensy bit of self-respect. So I just walked out without a word and left all the stuff on the counter. Normally I would have said "if you have that much time on your hands to work so slow, then you have time to put all this shit away." But I've mellowed a bit over the years. >^;^<
I head on over to JoAnne's, where I find oodles of findings on sale. I stocked up, made my purchase, and it was a pleasant, efficient exchange. They didn't even ask for my zip code! Yeah! Staples is right next door, so I turned in all 13 spent cartridges for $3 coupons good for 90 days on ANYTHING you buy in the store, not just cartridges. Wow! The cashier took three of them off right there. I have $30 left, usable 3 coupons at a time. I'm SO GLAD I WALKED OUT OF Office Despot!!! The very patient and efficient cashier was able to simultaneously convince me to sign up for the "bonus card" thing again, because it's good for a 10% rebate on cartridges and paper products every 90 days. I can handle that. And she didn't bother me for my zip code!
After a quick run into the big Post Office at Southeastern, PA, picked up two packages I bought on Ebay and mailed the miniature bracelet. Next stop, after a mad dash through King of Prussia, was Michael's, another craft store. I found most of what I needed and a bit more besides, then of course the cash register debacle over a zip code commenced. I either say 90210, or "no" when asked. I wish they'd just stop it already. Please, please, please leave my zip code alone. My goal is not to have a freaking zip code already. Yep, I'm getting older and more cantankerous by the minute. Office Despot is off my list permanently, and Walmart I'll just keep having fun with them, but not very often. I get most of my clothes and books at the thrift stores or flea markets, and pretty much everything else on Ebay. I just waited too long to get the cartridges. Sometimes you need it now.
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