Anxiety and my favorite herbs

Heh, heh, you thought this was about "those" herbs, didn't ya? I'm a pretty straight arrow, outside of a few of my favorite brews on occasion. No, today I was feeling an extreme amount of anxiety over all the known, unknown, and forecasted outcomes to my financial situation. The contract work, the taxes, the accident case, all roiled and broiled around my head until I felt like it was spinning. It's about 6:39 pm Missouri time and I think I need to go to sleep and start tomorrow around 1:00 am. When I first get up in the morning and if I get my brain engaged in software development I can usually put the thoughts of doom and gloom on another thread.

But gloom and doom were paramount this morning and basically nothing got done, i.e., "accomplished". I ended up researching my accident case and it is still on the schedule with a trial date set. I just figured they'd won their motion for summary judgement, and now I get to worry about actually going to trial. While trying to finish my software project, while worrying about the outcome of the tax situation. Yes, that's what I'm talking about--S T R E S S, with a capital D, which stand for impending doom. I even made a list of the items I need to do to get away from all this. Hence a trip to the local health food store to grab some tinture of Kava. I hope it helps because I need some relief from this massive amount of anxiety.

I've mentioned before that if the going gets too tough, this time I'll leave without a vehicle. I'm still wedded to a certain amount of my stuff so I need to position that stuff where I can easily get to it if I'm without a vehicle. I have to review my survival gear and get it ready for a quick trip to anywhere. At some point I would get a vehicle, but it would not be in my name. So that is the plan. This week I will divest myself of some stuff, position the rest, and start planning my escape. I'm only holding onto this job in order to keep up with all the illusions of civilization that will assist me in getting closer to an actual accident settlement or win at trial.

So, back to the tincture of Kava and an early bedtime. I'm going to get through this! Dammit.