Letting Go

This morning Mavis was awakened around noon by the UPS driver delivering the DSL modem and filters. I was awakened by the smell of her toast burning, so we managed to meet with our cups of coffee in the common area. We watched most of "All My Children", our favorite soap opera. We talked about the process both of us have gone through to let go of the idea that we have to spring out of bed exhausted and attend to a never-ending series of tasks and worry about everything we say or do and the repercussions all day long. Egads! Did we ever really live that way? The life of a single mother is just like that. You are the last to be hired, the first to be let go at work, while statistically being the most reliable employee an employer can acquire. You are beholden to everybody, your kids, your hex, your family, social services, your employers, your landlord, and even the neighbors. I managed it by becoming successful enough to get a secluded house in the burbs, while she gave the boys to her husband and said "good luck to you, my friend." He was retired from the Army and had the time and income to deal with very energetic and conniving pre-teens, while she worked two jobs to get on her feet. We have been through the wringer. I'm so glad I turned my back on the madness, and even forgive myself for sleeping past noon today.

Around 3:00 am last night I was still awake, mainly because I slept until 11:00 am yesterday. I just turned out the lights and rolled over, and proceeded to fantasize a survival scenario until I fell asleep. Now I'm ready to incorporate the fantasy in my book. But first I need to make some jewelry to fill Ebay orders that came in overnight. My little room here in the tiny trailer is very comfortable, but there are a few more things I'd like to acquire to make it more organized. So I'll finish the jewelry and go on some liesurely errands. In fact, I'd like to go play trivia, so I need to look up some places in the area. It's time I make this place my home for awhile. I figure on settling here until my new grandchild is born, and just working as little as possible as I take day trips in the area. First it needs to cool down. It's hot outside!

My expenses now are less than $500 a month, really less. I include $225 for shelter, electric, cable, and DSL, $36 for a life insurance policy, $60 for full coverage on my hoopty car (which is paid for and well-maintained), $70 a month for auto maintenance and fuel, $100 for food, and a little bit for toiletries. That is easily made in a week of selling on Ebay, and all the rest of my income goes into savings for my van and van dwelling plans. Of course I spend more than $500, but that is when I have made extra by selling things I no longer need. I sold a PC software game that I no longer use and am using the $26 I made on that to find materials to block off my alcove to look like an armoire or built-in closet with curtains. It's all about the feng shui of hiding the electronics and the clutter. I like clean lines and bare surfaces. Pictures are coming soon! Oh, and all the materials will either stay while I'm traveling or can be incorporated in my van, one day.