Grandma-isms - Rules to Live By

My grandmothers were wise, wild women and left me a legacy of "isms" that I've learned the hard way to ignore at my peril. When you become a grandmother it is your duty and your right to dispense "isms". Here are some words to the wise, and you tell me if they aren't the smartest ideas on the planet today.

1. Never leave your purse unattended. That also goes for anything important to you. If your dollars or cell phone go missing don't say you weren't warned.

2. ALWAYS keep your keys with you. Don't leave them in the car or the house because your kids or grandkids could lock you out, and that is the LEAST of your worries. The only time you should not keep your keys with you is if you are body surfing at Daytona Beach. My dad could explain that one to you. The worst mistake you can make is to leave kids and keys in a car. You could lose everything. I don't leave kids unattended. At gas stations or the post office, they go with.

3. Never give anybody your last dollar (re: bill collectors)

4. When the bill collectors approach, don't pay until you see the whites of their eyes!

5. No money leaves this house!

6. Stash your cash and ditch your trash.

7. Don't build your house in the swamp. This could apply to fault lines and the path of tornadoes, too.

8. If the kids are quiet you'd better investigate. Flour, sugar, syrup, and cake mix dampens noise.

9. Travel light through life, things are not important, people are.

Hey, what can I say? They each raised four children, who raised children, who raised children, who are raising children. Great grandma can't be wrong. I hope I get to see my grandchildren raise children one day.