In reading about other folks experience with living out of their vehicles and being part of the mobile homeless, I have learned that simple things like being able to heat water for tea is of paramount importance. Or, just heating up a can of soup. Imagine having a little bit of money to spend. What would you buy? I would buy the makings of some fairly healthy food, plus some tea bags, and even coffee. I invested in a Smart Mug, which heats up water by plugging into a cigarette lighter. As an ultra-lightweight backpacker, I can also heat water and food on a hobo stove, but being able to heat water inside my vehicle is absolutely fascinating to me. I have both a Smart Mug and an old-style coil immersion heater. Where there is a will, there is a way.
I know that I will probably never be truly homeless, but I need the security of knowing I can move my own little turtle shell around the country at will, and have my earthly possessions with me without having to pack and store them. I'm so excited about this idea that I wish I could just snap my fingers and make it happen.
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Busy
May has been a very busy month for me. I'm divesting and downsizing, thinking, rehashing, experiencing, and living freely for the first time in my life without a clear purpose before me for each and every day. Before, I was working, building a business, raising my children, then keeping my head above water after the accident. Everyday was pre-planned and duly executed. In the past few days I have not had anything on the agenda that I *had* to do. Not buying groceries for a household, working, doing paperwork, nothing that simply must be done, not since the Medical Expert consultation last week. So I have increasingly slipped into the routine of being lazy, deliciously lazy. That is just so not me. At least I started this blog as practice for the art of writing and being real with myself. I have lived an eventful and stressful fifty years. I have learned a lot and missed even more lessons that I should have gotten. I sometimes find that I am still measuring myself by somebody else's yardstick. How stupid is that? My yardstick is jest fine, thank you!
The goals are still: downsize and get rid of stuff, stash my cash and ditch my trash, preserve memorabilia on DVD, sell car, buy used van, fix up van for driving, fix up van for living, add hitch and small trailer, and blow this scene. I'm on unemployment until the middle of October, unless the agency messes that up again. I can make over a thousand a month on Ebay if I work at it by listing ten items a day. I have more stuff I could sell. And my accident case may miraculously settle this summer, but we aren't relying upon it. The last time I worked a few months ago I was offered the job of Director of Software Engineering, but for some strange reason that didn't translate into actual dollars, so I'm a little disillusioned with "real work". I have had an extremely hard time getting paid in the past five years, so I'm understandably shy about trying that on again. I have my own ideas for peddling software, but am not in the position to make it happen, yet.
The van is not a bad idea. I am picturing a used cargo van with two front seats and a long body with few or no windows. I will have it fixed up so that the drive train, brakes, and steering are in tip-top shape. Then I will clean it, lay down a rug, fit a bed platform over a storage area, and install my plastic drawer systems. It will start off as being mainly a traveling office, workroom, and storage area, with the plan of using it as a makeshift bedroom as necessary. The hitch will be for towing a small trailer that holds the usual detritus of American culture. The "stuff" I "might need", while the van itself will house the items that matter the most to me and help me make a living.
Like a solar charged auxiliary battery array, inverter, laptop, printer, portable potty, water in jugs, solar shower & plastic tub, curtains, futon on bed platform, litter pan, jewelry making supplies & tools, mailing materials, paperwork, memorabilia on DVD's, clothes, shoes, seeds, beans, grains, sprouters, cooking equipment, books, and personal items. In the case where I would have to put the van in for repairs, the trailer would be the place I store and lock up my "stuff". The trailer could also serve as a place to gather items I find on the road to resell at flea markets. I may be contemplating the freedom of being a homeless bum, but I'd be more of a hobo. An itinerant worker, a gypsy with a portable skill. I'm one more cat away from this goal. And I can't wait!
The goals are still: downsize and get rid of stuff, stash my cash and ditch my trash, preserve memorabilia on DVD, sell car, buy used van, fix up van for driving, fix up van for living, add hitch and small trailer, and blow this scene. I'm on unemployment until the middle of October, unless the agency messes that up again. I can make over a thousand a month on Ebay if I work at it by listing ten items a day. I have more stuff I could sell. And my accident case may miraculously settle this summer, but we aren't relying upon it. The last time I worked a few months ago I was offered the job of Director of Software Engineering, but for some strange reason that didn't translate into actual dollars, so I'm a little disillusioned with "real work". I have had an extremely hard time getting paid in the past five years, so I'm understandably shy about trying that on again. I have my own ideas for peddling software, but am not in the position to make it happen, yet.
The van is not a bad idea. I am picturing a used cargo van with two front seats and a long body with few or no windows. I will have it fixed up so that the drive train, brakes, and steering are in tip-top shape. Then I will clean it, lay down a rug, fit a bed platform over a storage area, and install my plastic drawer systems. It will start off as being mainly a traveling office, workroom, and storage area, with the plan of using it as a makeshift bedroom as necessary. The hitch will be for towing a small trailer that holds the usual detritus of American culture. The "stuff" I "might need", while the van itself will house the items that matter the most to me and help me make a living.
Like a solar charged auxiliary battery array, inverter, laptop, printer, portable potty, water in jugs, solar shower & plastic tub, curtains, futon on bed platform, litter pan, jewelry making supplies & tools, mailing materials, paperwork, memorabilia on DVD's, clothes, shoes, seeds, beans, grains, sprouters, cooking equipment, books, and personal items. In the case where I would have to put the van in for repairs, the trailer would be the place I store and lock up my "stuff". The trailer could also serve as a place to gather items I find on the road to resell at flea markets. I may be contemplating the freedom of being a homeless bum, but I'd be more of a hobo. An itinerant worker, a gypsy with a portable skill. I'm one more cat away from this goal. And I can't wait!
TooUnfazed
One day I'll tell you why I am too unfazed. But not today. Today I will tell you why having nothing at all is more secure than appearing to have everything. I never was allowed to have anything. It was destroyed, trashed, tossed at the whim of my mother. Or my sister, or my brother, maybe even my father, but I'm not sure about that.
When I was about three years old I remember gathing my "things" into my bed and covering us up in the heat of a hot Florida night. I kept my little hands and feet away from the edges of the bed because I knew that something would get me and take my security if I didn't protect myself. It was a few more years before I knew what it was that would take my security. It wasn't the boogy man in the closet or under the bed. It was my mother. I can say it now without feeling as though a mother is any sort of comfort or security. Definitely I tried to be more of a comfort and definitely security to my own children. But the foundations where laid out then. Less is more, security is nothing at all.
I can't lose much more. There is precious little left. A fire could wipe away everything I claim as my own today and I would survive, unfazed. I'm a Phoenix arising from the ashes. I need to burn it all away to find out who I am. I am more than nothing, and less than everything. Today I came over to my son's to find that he had taken a VCR tape from my private box of things and played it in the VCR. The tapes are over 20 years old and need to be restored, not played. They are reminders of a happier time. He left the tape in the VCR and it was taped over by a soap opera. The lack of respect from a favorite son is overshadowed by the knowledge that I shouldn't take it seriously. I have nothing anyway, what is one more perceived loss?
Brutus said something profound when he first met me. He said I lived like a college student. I had a four bedroom house, but at that point I had sold most everything of value while I tried to figure out how to keep up the mortgage and keep the house. In my room that he saw, I had my PC, printer, mattress on the floor, and the beginnings of my online business. What he will never understand and I doubt I can share with him is that I never had anything, and anything I appeared to have was merely an illusion. So, I continue to divest myself of earthly possessions and ties. And I will see someone about this. Because it will be another path to freedom.
This is really pragmatism on my part. I have never felt as though I had a tie to a place or a thing. I have ties to people, especially my children, grandchildren, and to special friends. I am the cat who walks by himself and all places are alike to me. I read on a formerly homeless woman's blog that she "lost" things in storage when she didn't pay for them. For a brief second I congratulate myself that I cleared my storage room and didn't "lose" anything. But, I can't lose what I never really had. Wow, that hurt to put it into words, yet it is strangely freeing to admit. I feel like I will have the strength to go on for another year or two, as I form a purposeful life and tie up the loose ends of the life I never really expected or wanted.
I used to pride myself on my willingness and ability to think of others and to help them. I find that nobody is left to help me. Of course, what was I thinking? Like Mavis said, you have to take care of yourself first. She is quite liking the idea of me having a van to live in. I respect her opinion. If she says it's ok then I should do it, and soon.
When I was about three years old I remember gathing my "things" into my bed and covering us up in the heat of a hot Florida night. I kept my little hands and feet away from the edges of the bed because I knew that something would get me and take my security if I didn't protect myself. It was a few more years before I knew what it was that would take my security. It wasn't the boogy man in the closet or under the bed. It was my mother. I can say it now without feeling as though a mother is any sort of comfort or security. Definitely I tried to be more of a comfort and definitely security to my own children. But the foundations where laid out then. Less is more, security is nothing at all.
I can't lose much more. There is precious little left. A fire could wipe away everything I claim as my own today and I would survive, unfazed. I'm a Phoenix arising from the ashes. I need to burn it all away to find out who I am. I am more than nothing, and less than everything. Today I came over to my son's to find that he had taken a VCR tape from my private box of things and played it in the VCR. The tapes are over 20 years old and need to be restored, not played. They are reminders of a happier time. He left the tape in the VCR and it was taped over by a soap opera. The lack of respect from a favorite son is overshadowed by the knowledge that I shouldn't take it seriously. I have nothing anyway, what is one more perceived loss?
Brutus said something profound when he first met me. He said I lived like a college student. I had a four bedroom house, but at that point I had sold most everything of value while I tried to figure out how to keep up the mortgage and keep the house. In my room that he saw, I had my PC, printer, mattress on the floor, and the beginnings of my online business. What he will never understand and I doubt I can share with him is that I never had anything, and anything I appeared to have was merely an illusion. So, I continue to divest myself of earthly possessions and ties. And I will see someone about this. Because it will be another path to freedom.
This is really pragmatism on my part. I have never felt as though I had a tie to a place or a thing. I have ties to people, especially my children, grandchildren, and to special friends. I am the cat who walks by himself and all places are alike to me. I read on a formerly homeless woman's blog that she "lost" things in storage when she didn't pay for them. For a brief second I congratulate myself that I cleared my storage room and didn't "lose" anything. But, I can't lose what I never really had. Wow, that hurt to put it into words, yet it is strangely freeing to admit. I feel like I will have the strength to go on for another year or two, as I form a purposeful life and tie up the loose ends of the life I never really expected or wanted.
I used to pride myself on my willingness and ability to think of others and to help them. I find that nobody is left to help me. Of course, what was I thinking? Like Mavis said, you have to take care of yourself first. She is quite liking the idea of me having a van to live in. I respect her opinion. If she says it's ok then I should do it, and soon.
Honesty
The last time I employed Honesty in my relationship with Brutus I told him I couldn't do this anymore. That was a year ago. Then I took up with Rocky for awhile until I couldn't do *that* anymore either. So one booty call lead to another and Brutus and I pretended to have a relationship again but I think we are both just marking time. The truth is that I'm afraid to meet someone who is real because then I won't be able to leave. So I will have to make a decision soon if I want to live my dream and live real. You'd have to know about my childhood and my young adult experiences to really understand how an attractive and capable 50 year old woman has come to this point. That is fodder for "the book", not for "the blog". You'd have to know more about child abuse and a cat person who was "raised by wolves". Oh, Goddess! I sound tragic and I don't want to be tragic. LOL
OK, the reality is that I'm marking time. I am not doing what I want to do because I always seem to be living in some limbo state between what it is and what I want it to be. This time is the last time to make it real or I might as well die of old age with nothing that I want. So. I will be real from here on out. Not another minute of pretend happiness.
Yes, I could have clutched onto a lifetime of normalcy and anything I do now is due to my nature, my nature to reject normalcy. Normalcy to me is equal to torture, abuse, and suffering. I'm only suffering today because I'm still clinging to normalcy with Brutus. He's coming home soon. I need to talk to him one last time.
OK, the reality is that I'm marking time. I am not doing what I want to do because I always seem to be living in some limbo state between what it is and what I want it to be. This time is the last time to make it real or I might as well die of old age with nothing that I want. So. I will be real from here on out. Not another minute of pretend happiness.
Yes, I could have clutched onto a lifetime of normalcy and anything I do now is due to my nature, my nature to reject normalcy. Normalcy to me is equal to torture, abuse, and suffering. I'm only suffering today because I'm still clinging to normalcy with Brutus. He's coming home soon. I need to talk to him one last time.
Monday, May 28, 2007
Relationships, discont.
I love wordplay, almost as much as foreplay. Thus the Relationships, Relationships continued, and Relationships discontinued titles for my last few blog entries, including this one. Ever notice that when you've been with someone for a long time they take for granted things like foreplay and consideration? I tend to overlook these things because I have no wish for a contentious relationship. But at some point I will decide to leave the relationship in a permanent and quiet way. It is not that I ever expect anyone to "read my mind" so much as it is from my Southern upbringing. If I ever once say that something is bothering me, it is REALLY REALLY bothering me. The first time I say it. If I have to REPEAT it, then it is grounds for separation. Generally I'm very laid back and very few things bother me. So it is extreme if I have to speak about it.
In the Southern tradition of genteel politeness, being rude is extremely frowned upon. Malicious gossip is rude, putting others in danger is rude (say via aggressive driving), and honking one's horn is rude. Honking one's horn is the equivalent of stating to the world that someone else is being rude, which is the simply the height of rudeness. It has real value in life to understand and live by the precepts of politeness. In fact the best relationships last when neither party is rude to the other and shaky relationships last when the polite partner never points out the rudeness of the other partner. So I'm coming to the final impasse with a man in my life who I truly love, mostly enjoy being with, yet his rudeness is going to do us in permanently, and my politeness will never allow me to tell him this directly.
I have tried to use allegories to get the point across, but because he is a Norristonian, a relic of a Northeastern attitude that carries prejudice and non-acceptance to Archie Bunker extremes, I clearly see that such sensitivity is never going to be in his nature. He loves my deportment, that he can take me anywhere and I always appear to fit in. I get along well with his mother and 55 year old sisters, yet I can sit at a party where there is drunkenness, lewdness, and drug use, appear to fit in and accept it, yet remain untouched. I'm no prude, I've participated in such shenanigans in my youth--heh heh. But I am 50 years old to his 37 years, now. I took awhile to grow up myself, yet he hasn't even started. I'm his hard rock mistress, a living relic of the 60's & 70's, he's my youthfully exuberant lover. I can't take him anywhere, yet he will take me everywhere.
My sons really don't like him, the Baby Mama doesn't want him near my granddaughters, and the Other Mother has no idea I've been dating a child of the 70's. I'm darned near old enough to be his babysitter! LOL! So I tried, as an experiment, to get him to go on an activity I like. This was a real test to see if I should ease on down the road or is there anything worth hanging onto here. He smokes weed frequently. I mean every 15 minutes when we are on a hike. The activity I wanted to go on is with a hiking club that has events all over the tri-state area. The issue would be whether he can spend a lovely day of hiking with relative strangers without toking up.
I chose to go on a grueling 20 mile hike with a leader I've trudged with before. I figured it would be enough of a challenge for Brutus while I'd be up for it after our 90 mile hike on the AT in Georgia the week before last. He hemmed and hawed and tried to put me off, made lame excuses, then finally agreed to go. It took me forever to get us on the road, like he was deliberately balking. I told him it would take two hours to get there when it was really ninety minutes. I knew what I was up against. We made it to the meeting area in the nick of time.
We got there and you could see the attitude forming. He was going to "show them" that he could hike farther and faster than any of them. I knew the leader well, it was going to be a frat boys pissing match. As we started off, Brutus tried to play the part of solicitous beau but I cut him loose to forge ahead with the frat boy cotillion. I lagged behind with the girls, the aged, and the infirm, of which I qualified for all three groups. I'm carrying thirty pounds more than I should, my ankles are still sore from Springer Mountain, and with the heat and humidity and my lung issues I was huffing and puffing from the get-go. I'm not as good as I once was, but I'm as good once as I've ever been. So I struggled to keep up, and I never give up (well, maybe once).
We all met at the half-way point, the frat boys were drinking wine and smoking weed. I was not surprised. I told Brutus he'd enjoy this hike. They hurriedly put out the fires and all the women but two, plus several men, opted out of the rest of the hike. They were pooped and it was getting extremely hot and humid. We figured we'd gone 9 miles at that point. I just wanted to know when we would stop to rest and eat after four solid hours of heavy marching. My energy was flagging, and I was feeling dizzy. The sweep, the person who generally goes last on a hike to help the leader ensure that everyone is making it, lagged behind with me. He knew I was in trouble, and he indicated that as a diabetic that his blood sugar was becoming a problem. He and I both were concerned about each other. Yes, there was some bonding going on. Jim was sensitive and courtly. He actually held my hand and assisted me over some harder points. We talked endlessly about global warming, going green, his troubles with divorce and visitation, and my quest to become strictly vegan & fruitarian. We equated diet to diabetes and he pumped me for information on the health theories that support veganism and what the heck is fruitarianism?
We all stopped for a lunch break finally. When I'm at the end of a hike the breaks are only about 5 minutes for me because I have to catch up to the group, but Jim made them wait until I was feeling better. I had to chug water and lay down for 20 minutes. I was too heat exhausted to want to eat--that's not me! We hiked another three miles and I went slower and slower and Jim
tried to keep my spirits up. At a road crossing four of us infirm and aged ones decided to take the road a mile into town and cut the hike short. Jim and I split off from the other two and he took us down a side street in Morristown to stop for food and a beer. We were having such a great conversation that we just sat there for a couple of hours talking and cooling down. It took about two more hours and the main group got to the cars and started calling to inquire if we were ok. The other two guys had left notes at the cars that they lost Jim and me to a side street. So, I had to fess up to Brutus where I was at and doing what. M'ke lead him up to this place, the Green Froggie. We all had a round together and finally Brutus lead me off in a huff. By that time I was hurting so badly I really didn't care.
After practically shoving me into the truck he drove us back to the hotel in King of Prussia where I met him and left my car. He then dumped me at my car and sped off without a word. I just limped back to the house and went to bed to nurse all my wounds, mostly the invisible ones. In all honesty, I have not been honest with him. I am living in a roommate situation, not with my son as he believes. All to avoid the issue of moving in with him, because I have a different plan in life. This is the problem with "going back" to someone when things weren't good the first time around. We pretend in order to make believe that the magic is still there when it really isn't. I know that the moment I am honest with him it will probably be over. I have been content to live the fantasy because we are happier in it than not in it. But why can't relationships be more real? I have tried real and real really sucks. I have a life that I want and I wish I could have him in it. I wish with all my heart that I could have him in it. It sucks. I need to move on and maybe try one last time to find that special someone who knows how to be real. The tears fall and I can't pick them up anymore...they fall through my fingers.
In the Southern tradition of genteel politeness, being rude is extremely frowned upon. Malicious gossip is rude, putting others in danger is rude (say via aggressive driving), and honking one's horn is rude. Honking one's horn is the equivalent of stating to the world that someone else is being rude, which is the simply the height of rudeness. It has real value in life to understand and live by the precepts of politeness. In fact the best relationships last when neither party is rude to the other and shaky relationships last when the polite partner never points out the rudeness of the other partner. So I'm coming to the final impasse with a man in my life who I truly love, mostly enjoy being with, yet his rudeness is going to do us in permanently, and my politeness will never allow me to tell him this directly.
I have tried to use allegories to get the point across, but because he is a Norristonian, a relic of a Northeastern attitude that carries prejudice and non-acceptance to Archie Bunker extremes, I clearly see that such sensitivity is never going to be in his nature. He loves my deportment, that he can take me anywhere and I always appear to fit in. I get along well with his mother and 55 year old sisters, yet I can sit at a party where there is drunkenness, lewdness, and drug use, appear to fit in and accept it, yet remain untouched. I'm no prude, I've participated in such shenanigans in my youth--heh heh. But I am 50 years old to his 37 years, now. I took awhile to grow up myself, yet he hasn't even started. I'm his hard rock mistress, a living relic of the 60's & 70's, he's my youthfully exuberant lover. I can't take him anywhere, yet he will take me everywhere.
My sons really don't like him, the Baby Mama doesn't want him near my granddaughters, and the Other Mother has no idea I've been dating a child of the 70's. I'm darned near old enough to be his babysitter! LOL! So I tried, as an experiment, to get him to go on an activity I like. This was a real test to see if I should ease on down the road or is there anything worth hanging onto here. He smokes weed frequently. I mean every 15 minutes when we are on a hike. The activity I wanted to go on is with a hiking club that has events all over the tri-state area. The issue would be whether he can spend a lovely day of hiking with relative strangers without toking up.
I chose to go on a grueling 20 mile hike with a leader I've trudged with before. I figured it would be enough of a challenge for Brutus while I'd be up for it after our 90 mile hike on the AT in Georgia the week before last. He hemmed and hawed and tried to put me off, made lame excuses, then finally agreed to go. It took me forever to get us on the road, like he was deliberately balking. I told him it would take two hours to get there when it was really ninety minutes. I knew what I was up against. We made it to the meeting area in the nick of time.
We got there and you could see the attitude forming. He was going to "show them" that he could hike farther and faster than any of them. I knew the leader well, it was going to be a frat boys pissing match. As we started off, Brutus tried to play the part of solicitous beau but I cut him loose to forge ahead with the frat boy cotillion. I lagged behind with the girls, the aged, and the infirm, of which I qualified for all three groups. I'm carrying thirty pounds more than I should, my ankles are still sore from Springer Mountain, and with the heat and humidity and my lung issues I was huffing and puffing from the get-go. I'm not as good as I once was, but I'm as good once as I've ever been. So I struggled to keep up, and I never give up (well, maybe once).
We all met at the half-way point, the frat boys were drinking wine and smoking weed. I was not surprised. I told Brutus he'd enjoy this hike. They hurriedly put out the fires and all the women but two, plus several men, opted out of the rest of the hike. They were pooped and it was getting extremely hot and humid. We figured we'd gone 9 miles at that point. I just wanted to know when we would stop to rest and eat after four solid hours of heavy marching. My energy was flagging, and I was feeling dizzy. The sweep, the person who generally goes last on a hike to help the leader ensure that everyone is making it, lagged behind with me. He knew I was in trouble, and he indicated that as a diabetic that his blood sugar was becoming a problem. He and I both were concerned about each other. Yes, there was some bonding going on. Jim was sensitive and courtly. He actually held my hand and assisted me over some harder points. We talked endlessly about global warming, going green, his troubles with divorce and visitation, and my quest to become strictly vegan & fruitarian. We equated diet to diabetes and he pumped me for information on the health theories that support veganism and what the heck is fruitarianism?
We all stopped for a lunch break finally. When I'm at the end of a hike the breaks are only about 5 minutes for me because I have to catch up to the group, but Jim made them wait until I was feeling better. I had to chug water and lay down for 20 minutes. I was too heat exhausted to want to eat--that's not me! We hiked another three miles and I went slower and slower and Jim
tried to keep my spirits up. At a road crossing four of us infirm and aged ones decided to take the road a mile into town and cut the hike short. Jim and I split off from the other two and he took us down a side street in Morristown to stop for food and a beer. We were having such a great conversation that we just sat there for a couple of hours talking and cooling down. It took about two more hours and the main group got to the cars and started calling to inquire if we were ok. The other two guys had left notes at the cars that they lost Jim and me to a side street. So, I had to fess up to Brutus where I was at and doing what. M'ke lead him up to this place, the Green Froggie. We all had a round together and finally Brutus lead me off in a huff. By that time I was hurting so badly I really didn't care.
After practically shoving me into the truck he drove us back to the hotel in King of Prussia where I met him and left my car. He then dumped me at my car and sped off without a word. I just limped back to the house and went to bed to nurse all my wounds, mostly the invisible ones. In all honesty, I have not been honest with him. I am living in a roommate situation, not with my son as he believes. All to avoid the issue of moving in with him, because I have a different plan in life. This is the problem with "going back" to someone when things weren't good the first time around. We pretend in order to make believe that the magic is still there when it really isn't. I know that the moment I am honest with him it will probably be over. I have been content to live the fantasy because we are happier in it than not in it. But why can't relationships be more real? I have tried real and real really sucks. I have a life that I want and I wish I could have him in it. I wish with all my heart that I could have him in it. It sucks. I need to move on and maybe try one last time to find that special someone who knows how to be real. The tears fall and I can't pick them up anymore...they fall through my fingers.
Saturday, May 26, 2007
Relationships, cont.
It's been a few days since I posted last. Have just been continuing to organize myself and hike every possible moment. I spent Thursday night with the old man and for once it was just nice and pleasant and not intense. I spent Friday night playing trivia then back home. I'm going to hike in New Jersey tomorrow with some friends, with or without the old man. His little habit of stopping to smoke every 15 minutes is what kept us from making it a permanent venture the first time around. I'm really ready to move on this time. I broke one of my own rules by taking up with him again. Don't look back, I always say! And we only just got back from a trip to Springer Mountain which was way too much togetherness. He wants me to move in with him and once I tell him flat out "no" that I've got a place then it will really be over. He is going to be pissed and I don't want the stalking again. Not the evil stalking, it it the mooning over me stalking where he tries to show up where he thinks I might show up.
I just made a delicious salad of tomatoes, lemons, vidalia onions, mung bean sprouts, avocado, and grapeseed oil. I'm eating a bowl now, and my tastebuds are happy, happy! I love to eat lots of raw fruits and veggies, and I want to get back to the juicing habit. Probably won't do that until Monday or Tuesday when the holiday activities subside. After we clear some more of the clutter here, I'm hoping to get Crazy Girl on the hiking trail this afternoon, this time on Mt. Joy in Valley Forge Park. The key is to make the time for hiking and do it regularly for good health. Walking is the most natural motion for the human body. We were designed for it!
It is so nice not to have a huge list with tons of stuff to do. I am finishing up my one weekly load of laundry and will do the few dishes. Basically, there is only the clutter in two rooms to deal with and the day is free. Then he gets off at late tonight so I may not stay with him. We have to get up really early for the hike and I sleep better in my sleep number bed anyway.
I just made a delicious salad of tomatoes, lemons, vidalia onions, mung bean sprouts, avocado, and grapeseed oil. I'm eating a bowl now, and my tastebuds are happy, happy! I love to eat lots of raw fruits and veggies, and I want to get back to the juicing habit. Probably won't do that until Monday or Tuesday when the holiday activities subside. After we clear some more of the clutter here, I'm hoping to get Crazy Girl on the hiking trail this afternoon, this time on Mt. Joy in Valley Forge Park. The key is to make the time for hiking and do it regularly for good health. Walking is the most natural motion for the human body. We were designed for it!
It is so nice not to have a huge list with tons of stuff to do. I am finishing up my one weekly load of laundry and will do the few dishes. Basically, there is only the clutter in two rooms to deal with and the day is free. Then he gets off at late tonight so I may not stay with him. We have to get up really early for the hike and I sleep better in my sleep number bed anyway.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Relationships
Not only did I hike on Monday, after the medical expert appointment on Tuesday I hiked again. This time I went over Mount Joy in Valley Forge Park. I walked the entire trail around to the restrooms then all the way back to George Washington's Headquarters where I parked the car. I must have walked 7 miles within a 2 1/2 hour period. It was so cool, quiet, and peaceful. Had a lot of thinking to do, and came up with a plan. As it stands I'm not having much luck picking up a van that is drivable for several thousand miles. It is going to take some time to get that going, so I have decided to finish downsizing and divesting as I just stay in the house with my roommate. After the fiasco with not getting paid and with the agency messing with my unemployment I was starting to get the urge to run and just get out of here to start over somewhere else. Now that I'm getting unemployment regularly it is easier to make the decision to stay put. I still want to make the trip to Missouri to take Spike-kitty back to his mommy but her situation is still up in the air with her son Brain and the kids and her job, and I need to see what unfolds in the accident case.
I will keep bringing over the things I need from my son's house, box up the donations and yard sale items, and continue to work through the paperwork piles. For once in my life only my most treasured and necessary items will be in view while the rest is being handled elsewhere. Nate is planning to move in with his girlfriend, or at least move closer to his job. We are both working on organizing our crap. We finally cleared out the huge storage room. So I will go ahead and sell the car because public transportation is excellent here, and continue to look for a van. I figure for $1500-2500 I can get a drivable van in fairly good condition, with about $1500 more of work put into it to be reliable. I also need to build up the Ebay business again, while I wait on news on the accident case. The weather has been nice, so I will hike every chance I get in the meantime. I want to lose 10 pounds before my birthday in a few weeks.
I will keep bringing over the things I need from my son's house, box up the donations and yard sale items, and continue to work through the paperwork piles. For once in my life only my most treasured and necessary items will be in view while the rest is being handled elsewhere. Nate is planning to move in with his girlfriend, or at least move closer to his job. We are both working on organizing our crap. We finally cleared out the huge storage room. So I will go ahead and sell the car because public transportation is excellent here, and continue to look for a van. I figure for $1500-2500 I can get a drivable van in fairly good condition, with about $1500 more of work put into it to be reliable. I also need to build up the Ebay business again, while I wait on news on the accident case. The weather has been nice, so I will hike every chance I get in the meantime. I want to lose 10 pounds before my birthday in a few weeks.
Monday, May 21, 2007
Lost Weekemd
It looks like I lost a weekend. I spent it getting back to normal after the trip to Springer Mountain. I have bunch of pictures to post but can't find my camera cord. It was a beautiful weekend with mild temps and virtually no humidity, a rarity in Pennsylvania so close to the coast. Today was spent at my roommate's house, waiting for a replacement fridge since ours died. I cleared the kitchen of my roommate's boxes of stuff and carried a bunch of her stuff to the basement. I am going out to get some things I need from my son's apartment this afternoon, then a little shopping, then hiking until the traffic lets up on 252. Then I'll get some vittles and head back to the house. Basically there are no fires to put out today. I like lost weekends. After so many years getting and spending it is refreshing to abdicate from dealing with stuff. I just wish other people would get it, too.
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Acceptance
I'm big on acceptance. As long as a person hasn't deliberately hurt another being I accept that person and the choices that they make. I often find it ironic that many folks who have lifestyles the most outside of the "norm" have the least amount of acceptance of others. Perhaps the reason they live at the outskirts of normalcy is their lack of acceptance of new ideas. resulting in fear of change. I'm immediately reminded of this as I spent a lot of time searching the web for alternative living arrangement ideas and stumbled onto one "close-knit" group. The very first post I read on the Yahoo Van Dwellers group (http://autos.groups.yahoo.com/group/VanDwellers/) was a harangue that nearly called a new poster an outright liar. Of course it takes all kinds, but I was still surprised at the level of animosity in the post. Now that I've read awhile I understand where it is coming from. I suggest that if someone says they are disabled or are having problems in life, just sympathize and don't judge them. Treat them as if they are being honest. If they are lying it is on them. The problem is still a valid problem for someone and a fair answer is a kind and valid answer. Someone who needs the answer may see it. Chill out!
Thinking outside of the box is key to survival, and probably happiness too. Youngest son gave me a big hug today and thanked me for being a voice of reason. Wow! I'm honored. I try to look at both sides of things and make few judgments unless someone is being unfairly hurt or inconvenienced by the actions of others. Had a neat argument with Little Bird about Brokeback Mountain. She was entirely sympathetic to the main characters, two fellows who cheated on their wives in an illicit sexual affair with each other. Sorry dear, two wrongs do not make a right--I don't buy that mean old society was forcing them to be illicit. Their love affair was illicit at the time, due to societal mores and due to the vows they made to their wives. Smart people keep illicit sexual affairs secret for a reason. There is a problem and you are doing something that is extremely wrong. I didn't have an issue with the illicit sexual affair until the young women became caught up in it. In the Native American tradition, these men weren't even Berdache! It was an offense to my soul. No wonder other men choose to condemn the act in a violent way. If that had been my husband I'd have ripped his dick off myself. Other than any lying, cheating, or living on the down-low, I otherwise think homosexuality is a valid expression of humanity for others, but it isn't a god-given right to indulge oneself.
Thinking outside of the box is key to survival, and probably happiness too. Youngest son gave me a big hug today and thanked me for being a voice of reason. Wow! I'm honored. I try to look at both sides of things and make few judgments unless someone is being unfairly hurt or inconvenienced by the actions of others. Had a neat argument with Little Bird about Brokeback Mountain. She was entirely sympathetic to the main characters, two fellows who cheated on their wives in an illicit sexual affair with each other. Sorry dear, two wrongs do not make a right--I don't buy that mean old society was forcing them to be illicit. Their love affair was illicit at the time, due to societal mores and due to the vows they made to their wives. Smart people keep illicit sexual affairs secret for a reason. There is a problem and you are doing something that is extremely wrong. I didn't have an issue with the illicit sexual affair until the young women became caught up in it. In the Native American tradition, these men weren't even Berdache! It was an offense to my soul. No wonder other men choose to condemn the act in a violent way. If that had been my husband I'd have ripped his dick off myself. Other than any lying, cheating, or living on the down-low, I otherwise think homosexuality is a valid expression of humanity for others, but it isn't a god-given right to indulge oneself.
Friday, May 18, 2007
Really Doing It!
Today and most of yesterday was a lost cause. But that's ok! The whole idea of being unemployed and soon to be a van dweller is to be a Human Being, not a Human Doing. I had so much going on with phone calls from everybody--when it rains, it poors. I only just starting the packing and organizing phase of my van dwelling life-to-be. It looks like I might be able to hit the road very soon. I am going to stay in the King of Prussia area until after our birthday, Dawg and I. Last year we were 72. This year we will be 74. Yes, my son was born on my birthday. It's a long-running joke between us regarding "our age". We add it together. For some reason it is always an even number. The first year "we" were 28 and zero. The second year 29 and one. Now we should be 51 and 23. There will be 74 candles on the cake this year.
That makes me happy.
But still I've been feeling sorry for myself--just for a couple of hours yesterday. Then I got a call from someone with much worse problems. That has a tendency to make me get over it. I certainly would have felt guilty whinging if I'd have kept it up. I only whinged for about five minutes today. It is ok to be human, really. Just don't dwell on it for too long at a time. Wah, wah...
It all comes back to choice. I decided to give up the house about three years ago. But having crawled up the ladder of "success" only to have jumped off of it due to circumstances, it still hurts. I watch the home shows and remember the plans I had for painting and decorating, and that makes me so sad. Truly, I don't want a house anymore. The conundrum is admitting that I DID choose to leave the idea of a house and permanent home behind, and to accept that choice that I made. After the accident, when I was struggling to get my old normal life back, I would drive to work and it was a 90 minute drive. I would be so exhausted when I got to work that I would lay in the back of my truck until it was time to go in, and I would just cry. I wish that the me of today could have patted the me of yesterday on the head and whisper "you don't have to live like that another day". I wish I had the foresight and courage to put a stop to the "getting and spending" right then. It was too much. You don't see it until it is impossible to go on. What a waste of precious resources.
I watched House tonight, finished today's posting, it's time for bed, oops, I mean futon...LOL
That makes me happy.
But still I've been feeling sorry for myself--just for a couple of hours yesterday. Then I got a call from someone with much worse problems. That has a tendency to make me get over it. I certainly would have felt guilty whinging if I'd have kept it up. I only whinged for about five minutes today. It is ok to be human, really. Just don't dwell on it for too long at a time. Wah, wah...
It all comes back to choice. I decided to give up the house about three years ago. But having crawled up the ladder of "success" only to have jumped off of it due to circumstances, it still hurts. I watch the home shows and remember the plans I had for painting and decorating, and that makes me so sad. Truly, I don't want a house anymore. The conundrum is admitting that I DID choose to leave the idea of a house and permanent home behind, and to accept that choice that I made. After the accident, when I was struggling to get my old normal life back, I would drive to work and it was a 90 minute drive. I would be so exhausted when I got to work that I would lay in the back of my truck until it was time to go in, and I would just cry. I wish that the me of today could have patted the me of yesterday on the head and whisper "you don't have to live like that another day". I wish I had the foresight and courage to put a stop to the "getting and spending" right then. It was too much. You don't see it until it is impossible to go on. What a waste of precious resources.
I watched House tonight, finished today's posting, it's time for bed, oops, I mean futon...LOL
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Downsizing
I survived my hike in Valley Forge Park yesterday. I missed the thunderstorm by an hour, as planned. There is nothing more terrifying than trying to dash down a slippery mountain while dodging flying branches and lightning. I avoid that experience as a precaution in my survival planning (tic). It was a quiet day, with few other hikers or bikers. I was really enjoying the peace and beauty of my surroundings until I got several phone calls. One was from my attorney regarding the accident case. You go for years without a word then suddenly everybody needs something from you. Ack!
As for the van dwelling plans, I'm still in the divestiture phase. I have a car to sell, plus a sleep number bed, TV, printer, various small household items, and a very few pieces of furniture. The blowout yard sale was great, but there is always more to get rid of. I have the bed up on craigslist, and am looking for a vehicle to make into a temporary van dwelling situation. Being an ultra-lightweight backpacker I do not need a tricked out van at this time of the year. I have the blowup raft for a bed, a cooler for food and ice, cooking equipment, and lots of plastic drawers for organizing my stuff. I need an inverter, to occasionally run electronics and to charge the laptop battery. I need a bucket with lid for handling waste--can get that at Home Depot. I will need to pick up several big 5 gallon jugs of water that I can refill with a short length of hose. I have a battery operated pump to easily get water out for daily needs. I have a solar shower and can rig up something private with that for cleaning myself up. I'm going for the ambiance of sleeping, cooking, eating, and storing all my worldly possessions in the van, then travel to visit a few friends, and do some serious hiking. I plan to get a used van and clean it up. I'll put a cheap rug in it, wash down the interior, and make curtains for privacy. I think a foldout table and chair would be nice for those times I want to set up a mini-camp and work on my jewelry outdoors. I have fold out chairs for relaxation and a beach umbrella for shade.
One day, if I ever see an end to the accident case and receive serious money, I'll get a "real" camper van to live out of, and pull a nice looking trailer as a "shed". I'm serious about living clutter free. It drives me nucking futz to see crap laying around. My jewelry supplies are all neatly organized and contained in clear plastic organizers. I keep a current ideas basket with clear ziploc bags that contain the inspiration pieces for my next projects. I will put those inspirational baggies together when I'm feeling creative but am too tired to actually assemble something. If the basket is overflowing I work on the bagged ideas systematically until I can see the bottom of the basket again. That comes from being a software engineer and working with queues and workflow solutions. I have access to lots of "stuff" but only work on one item of "stuff" at a time. Yep, that's how a computer works. Except that if I divvy up too many timeslices I go nucking futz over that and have to throttle it back. I really try to focus on finishing each little project.
I also have a routine for selling that involves creating a minimum number of items at least four days a week, then using one day to take pictures and one day to list them. At the moment I have a morning routine that involves printing the sales orders, filling them, and them getting them mailed in a daily errand. Now that I'm going to stop working and be a fulltime van-dweller I plan to use just one day a week to take pics, list, and fill orders. One day a week will be for the city errands of laundry, banking, and posting. The rest of my time is for hiking and playing trivia. There is no other reason to live in a van down by the river, drinking beer and chasing butterflies. I guess my Ebay feedback rating is going to have to reflect my poor customer service practices.
>^;^<
As for the van dwelling plans, I'm still in the divestiture phase. I have a car to sell, plus a sleep number bed, TV, printer, various small household items, and a very few pieces of furniture. The blowout yard sale was great, but there is always more to get rid of. I have the bed up on craigslist, and am looking for a vehicle to make into a temporary van dwelling situation. Being an ultra-lightweight backpacker I do not need a tricked out van at this time of the year. I have the blowup raft for a bed, a cooler for food and ice, cooking equipment, and lots of plastic drawers for organizing my stuff. I need an inverter, to occasionally run electronics and to charge the laptop battery. I need a bucket with lid for handling waste--can get that at Home Depot. I will need to pick up several big 5 gallon jugs of water that I can refill with a short length of hose. I have a battery operated pump to easily get water out for daily needs. I have a solar shower and can rig up something private with that for cleaning myself up. I'm going for the ambiance of sleeping, cooking, eating, and storing all my worldly possessions in the van, then travel to visit a few friends, and do some serious hiking. I plan to get a used van and clean it up. I'll put a cheap rug in it, wash down the interior, and make curtains for privacy. I think a foldout table and chair would be nice for those times I want to set up a mini-camp and work on my jewelry outdoors. I have fold out chairs for relaxation and a beach umbrella for shade.
One day, if I ever see an end to the accident case and receive serious money, I'll get a "real" camper van to live out of, and pull a nice looking trailer as a "shed". I'm serious about living clutter free. It drives me nucking futz to see crap laying around. My jewelry supplies are all neatly organized and contained in clear plastic organizers. I keep a current ideas basket with clear ziploc bags that contain the inspiration pieces for my next projects. I will put those inspirational baggies together when I'm feeling creative but am too tired to actually assemble something. If the basket is overflowing I work on the bagged ideas systematically until I can see the bottom of the basket again. That comes from being a software engineer and working with queues and workflow solutions. I have access to lots of "stuff" but only work on one item of "stuff" at a time. Yep, that's how a computer works. Except that if I divvy up too many timeslices I go nucking futz over that and have to throttle it back. I really try to focus on finishing each little project.
I also have a routine for selling that involves creating a minimum number of items at least four days a week, then using one day to take pictures and one day to list them. At the moment I have a morning routine that involves printing the sales orders, filling them, and them getting them mailed in a daily errand. Now that I'm going to stop working and be a fulltime van-dweller I plan to use just one day a week to take pics, list, and fill orders. One day a week will be for the city errands of laundry, banking, and posting. The rest of my time is for hiking and playing trivia. There is no other reason to live in a van down by the river, drinking beer and chasing butterflies. I guess my Ebay feedback rating is going to have to reflect my poor customer service practices.
>^;^<
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Survivalist
If I wasn't a survivalist today that would be a shocker. I grew up in the 50's & 60's deep in the heart of Florida. In elementary school and junior high school we had weekly survival drills. We lived under the perceived threat of Russian nuclear missiles aimed at us from nearby Cuba. There were signs all over with instructions on what to do. Don't look at the blast, stay away from the windows, turn your desk over and get behind it, learn where the underground shelters were located, have a family plan for reuniting with your family, keep several months of food and water where you can get to it and shelter safely, always carry survival gear, put your head between your knees and kiss your ass goodbye, and etcetera. There were bomb shelters behind many homes, those green grass domes with hooded pipes coming out the sides. My dad dreamed of converting an old school bus into a home on wheels, for protection and escape. The adults would talk about having to barricade themselves away from the unprepared folks expected to flock to those shelters after a disaster. What I learned was that you should prepare yourselves for disaster at all times. I thought this was perfectly normal. After all, you are what you live.
So, I live paranoid. Of course it isn't really paranoid if people really are out to get ya. All kidding aside, I will own my brand of healthy paranoia. It is the sixth sense that causes the hairs to rise on your neck when something doesn't feel right. It is at least planning your escape routes even if you are fairly certain you won't need them. It is being prepared, always. There is no use in having a bomb shelter all stocked and waiting for you if you can't reach it in a disaster. Any disaster at all. You could run out of gas during a snowstorm, or your car could break down. Planning ahead, using what you have and using your wits is what you need to survive just about any situation.
Over the years I've learned that you do need to have at the minimum several layers of survival gear that could mean the difference between life and death if you are cut off from civilization. With feelings of deja vu I watched the events of 9/11 unfold just 80 miles away from where I live now, and felt sadness for the folks trapped in New Orleans during Katrina. I don't own the feeling that "it can't happen to me" or that I would somehow survive better. But I do think about what I would need if caught in those types of situations. I have real experiences of being trapped in snow and ice storms, being stranded in a car in a desert and in a blizzard, being stranded within civilization yet still being unable to get to normal sources of food and water. In spite of the best planning, it can still happen to anyone.
By minimum layers of survival gear I mean the indispensable items that if all packed up in one place would do you no good if you were separated from them. In it's simplest analysis, picture having a fully stocked backpack on a three day hike into the wilderness, where you are totally prepared, have a plan, and the expertise to keep yourself out of danger, or so you think. Picture that backpack falling off the trail over a steep cliff into a river after just a moment's inattention. This time it's gone and you'd be an idiot to try and chase it down. If you have layered your survival gear, then you will have your compass, mirror, sturdy knife, dry matches, several plastic baggies, 3 feet of duct tape, antibiotic, chapstick, water purification tablets, candy tin, and a large trash bag in your pockets. With just those items in your pockets you could spend a fairly comfortable couple of nights on the mountain and try to get safely out if you had to. You could use those items and survive below freezing temperatures.
Survival is a list of priorities. Preparation comes first, meaning plan your route, memorize a map of your area, gather your material needs. Try not to get into the situation in the first place. Let people know where you will be, and have a plan for survival. First aid comes next, then shelter from the elements, then water for hydration, and communication, such as signaling for help. Survival sounds romantic. It isn't. You aren't going to need fishing line and a way to hunt food, unless you are so remote that civilization isn't a consideration ever again. You can go a couple of weeks without eating, a couple of days without water (at the most), and maybe 10 minutes in a blizzard, but only a minute or two if you can't breathe or are bleeding. So you work backwards. Eating is your last priority in a survival situation.
I sadly read about the family whose car was stranded in a snowstorm, the one where the father died of exposure trying to get help. The mother and children survived by staying in the car. I'll bet they wished, in this order, that: they weren't caught in the snowstorm, that they had blankets and warmer clothes with them, that someone knew exactly where they were, that they had the forsight to bring water and food, that they had a way to cook and eat in the car, and perhaps some books or games, extra gas, a place for the kids to potty, and an extra cell phone. I carry a solar charger, luggable loo, trash bags, blankets, Smart Mug (car cooking!), food, water, snacks, backpacking/camping gear, extra clothes, boots, trekking poles, money, maps, ID, keys, water purification systems (First Need, Katadyn, purification tables, extra filters, collapsible buckets and containers), tools, axe, and more.
I'm not saying that I could have done it better, but I've learned through experience to always carry all of these things with me in my car, rain or shine. I'm going on a hike in a few minutes, at Valley Forge Park. It will be a five mile hike relatively close to civilization. My cell phone is fully charged, the 1/2 gallon of water is icing up in the freezer, my survival gear is in my tummy pack, and I'll be taking some easy to eat fruit and nuts for energy. I checked the weather to be sure I won't get caught in rain or lightning, and I let my son know where I'll be. All that for a five mile hike. Hey, never leave home without your layers of survival gear. I will have my car key, ID, and an extra cell phone in my pockets, and will carry just a little bit of "mugger money" in my tummy pack. Paranoid? You betcha! >^;^< It may not "save me" in an unfortunate situation but I'm better prepared than 99% of the other hikers. I'm the one you want to be stranded with, not the bimbo in the pink jogging shorts....well, you know what I mean. I can be a bimbo, too. But not when it comes to survival.
So, I live paranoid. Of course it isn't really paranoid if people really are out to get ya. All kidding aside, I will own my brand of healthy paranoia. It is the sixth sense that causes the hairs to rise on your neck when something doesn't feel right. It is at least planning your escape routes even if you are fairly certain you won't need them. It is being prepared, always. There is no use in having a bomb shelter all stocked and waiting for you if you can't reach it in a disaster. Any disaster at all. You could run out of gas during a snowstorm, or your car could break down. Planning ahead, using what you have and using your wits is what you need to survive just about any situation.
Over the years I've learned that you do need to have at the minimum several layers of survival gear that could mean the difference between life and death if you are cut off from civilization. With feelings of deja vu I watched the events of 9/11 unfold just 80 miles away from where I live now, and felt sadness for the folks trapped in New Orleans during Katrina. I don't own the feeling that "it can't happen to me" or that I would somehow survive better. But I do think about what I would need if caught in those types of situations. I have real experiences of being trapped in snow and ice storms, being stranded in a car in a desert and in a blizzard, being stranded within civilization yet still being unable to get to normal sources of food and water. In spite of the best planning, it can still happen to anyone.
By minimum layers of survival gear I mean the indispensable items that if all packed up in one place would do you no good if you were separated from them. In it's simplest analysis, picture having a fully stocked backpack on a three day hike into the wilderness, where you are totally prepared, have a plan, and the expertise to keep yourself out of danger, or so you think. Picture that backpack falling off the trail over a steep cliff into a river after just a moment's inattention. This time it's gone and you'd be an idiot to try and chase it down. If you have layered your survival gear, then you will have your compass, mirror, sturdy knife, dry matches, several plastic baggies, 3 feet of duct tape, antibiotic, chapstick, water purification tablets, candy tin, and a large trash bag in your pockets. With just those items in your pockets you could spend a fairly comfortable couple of nights on the mountain and try to get safely out if you had to. You could use those items and survive below freezing temperatures.
Survival is a list of priorities. Preparation comes first, meaning plan your route, memorize a map of your area, gather your material needs. Try not to get into the situation in the first place. Let people know where you will be, and have a plan for survival. First aid comes next, then shelter from the elements, then water for hydration, and communication, such as signaling for help. Survival sounds romantic. It isn't. You aren't going to need fishing line and a way to hunt food, unless you are so remote that civilization isn't a consideration ever again. You can go a couple of weeks without eating, a couple of days without water (at the most), and maybe 10 minutes in a blizzard, but only a minute or two if you can't breathe or are bleeding. So you work backwards. Eating is your last priority in a survival situation.
I sadly read about the family whose car was stranded in a snowstorm, the one where the father died of exposure trying to get help. The mother and children survived by staying in the car. I'll bet they wished, in this order, that: they weren't caught in the snowstorm, that they had blankets and warmer clothes with them, that someone knew exactly where they were, that they had the forsight to bring water and food, that they had a way to cook and eat in the car, and perhaps some books or games, extra gas, a place for the kids to potty, and an extra cell phone. I carry a solar charger, luggable loo, trash bags, blankets, Smart Mug (car cooking!), food, water, snacks, backpacking/camping gear, extra clothes, boots, trekking poles, money, maps, ID, keys, water purification systems (First Need, Katadyn, purification tables, extra filters, collapsible buckets and containers), tools, axe, and more.
I'm not saying that I could have done it better, but I've learned through experience to always carry all of these things with me in my car, rain or shine. I'm going on a hike in a few minutes, at Valley Forge Park. It will be a five mile hike relatively close to civilization. My cell phone is fully charged, the 1/2 gallon of water is icing up in the freezer, my survival gear is in my tummy pack, and I'll be taking some easy to eat fruit and nuts for energy. I checked the weather to be sure I won't get caught in rain or lightning, and I let my son know where I'll be. All that for a five mile hike. Hey, never leave home without your layers of survival gear. I will have my car key, ID, and an extra cell phone in my pockets, and will carry just a little bit of "mugger money" in my tummy pack. Paranoid? You betcha! >^;^< It may not "save me" in an unfortunate situation but I'm better prepared than 99% of the other hikers. I'm the one you want to be stranded with, not the bimbo in the pink jogging shorts....well, you know what I mean. I can be a bimbo, too. But not when it comes to survival.
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Van Dwelling
As I was researching ways to survive without a permanent home or income (ROFL), I came across http://www.hooptylife.com/. April has had her share of employment issues and describes her own decison to live her life in a van. From her site I learned about the Van Dwellers group on Yahoo, and I've been surreptiously studying their pictures, tips, and strategies for a permanent mobile life. There are legal issues of domicile and even issues with sleeping in a vehicle. Apparently, you are only "allowed" to sleep in a vehicle if it's a bonafide RV parked in a bonafide RV park. I am so appreciative of the things that have been posted. Did you know you aren't supposed to sleep in a vehicle in a rest area on the interstate highway system? I sort of knew that, plus I knew it was a bad idea due to crime.
It is also illegal to sleep on the street or in public view, lest the homeless offend our sensibilities, in most urban areas. Like a sane person would want to do that, but if you are at rock bottom how are you supposed to get back on top? You need an address and a phone to get a job, and you need a job and good credit to get housing. It is a vicious cycle. Yeah, I know that people who have jobs and housing think that the homeless are scum. I call that holier-than-thou attitude the denial that they are only two paychecks away from being homeless themselves. I think the attitude of "it can't happen to me because" I am so perfect, I have planned it all better, I'm smarter, etcetera, is just camofluage for the reality that people are insecure. It's the "it can't/won't happen to me" mentality. I'm so totally not secure anymore that I'm secure in the knowledge that I have the means to survive without sleeping on a public street. I can at least sleep in the woods. I'd rather sleep in a van and be able to move around easily. The van is some protection from thugs, the public, and the elements, while mobility gives you better opportunities to forage and make some money. I'm going to be an upscale homeless bum, a hobo on wheels, a human turtle with my metallic shelter on my back. I have a friend who wants to come with me, but we'll have to get her a van of her own.
I posted this on April's site in March, and I'm posting it on my blog for my own archival purposes. I want to know why I am doing what I'm doing. In a year I'll be in my van down by a river, somewhere.
I am in the same boat now at age 50 as a result of a personal injury, and have been battling my way back to my former career as a software engineer. You are only as good as your last reference and if you spend a year and a half learning to walk that last reference is too long ago for the regular hiring processors.
I reinvented myself as a data analyst and worked for a temp agency at $30 an hour (used to make $80, and yes I saved my money for a rainy day–that doesn’t always work as well as we hope). Then I moved back into software development contracting at $60 an hour. I’m working at a horrible assignment at the moment, due to be over in a few weeks. I will be eligible for unemployment, thank god. And I will be in a better position to get that next contract, I hope.
Anyway, what is different now, from before the accident, is that I have already gone bankrupt, paid cash for a car, and have saved cash for a decent used van. At the moment I live with my son, no lease for me. We can help each other out. But realistically I need to provide for myself and my retirement years. The plan is to get that used van and make sure it is in excellent driving condition first, then my son and I are fixing it up to be a “camper”. That’s what I told him. It’s really going to be my last-ditch effort to live in relative comfort and safety without being in servitude to a lease. I know I need to be mobile and adaptable.
I have everything of value in a storage room, and I’ve pared it down to the most important things for survival. I plan to get a service trailer, like the innocuous ones used by a lawn service, for carrying extra supplies and my “stuff” when I have to become mobile. The plus side is that trailer can be used to make a living trash-picking and selling at flea markets if I have to. I also have an Ebay store where I sell miniature crafts, something I enjoy and can do well, plus it takes up very little space as a hobby and vocation! I keep it active even while working because I know I’ll may need that store to buy gas or food supplies one day.
For my health I’m serious hiker, a vegan, and I grow my own sprouts. You can do this anywhere, even hiking, even in the dead of winter. I love brown rice, beans, salads, and Indian food. With much experience as an ultra lightweight backpacker I think that cooking is the least of my issues if permanently homeless.
I’m considering buying a $200 a month catastrophic health care policy, but for now I’m living on the edge. Maybe if my accident case is ever settled I can afford it. And now I’m saving money to buy mountain property at a tax sale somewhere where I can at least have a permanent address and park the van and trailer if I have to. I could eventually have a well put in. I’d really love to be able to afford a ready-made tiny living space that is towable. I saw one on Oprah a few weeks ago. That would be so awesome! At least I have a dream and maybe I can achieve it. One thing is certain. I will never go back to believing in home ownership or company loyalty and retirement. That’s unrealistic in the present circumstances.
I appreciate all the information I find on this site. This site and others like it help me figure out the best plan for me based on what is realistic.
Thank you, April!
Haven't seen anything posted from April in several months. I hope she is ok.
It is also illegal to sleep on the street or in public view, lest the homeless offend our sensibilities, in most urban areas. Like a sane person would want to do that, but if you are at rock bottom how are you supposed to get back on top? You need an address and a phone to get a job, and you need a job and good credit to get housing. It is a vicious cycle. Yeah, I know that people who have jobs and housing think that the homeless are scum. I call that holier-than-thou attitude the denial that they are only two paychecks away from being homeless themselves. I think the attitude of "it can't happen to me because" I am so perfect, I have planned it all better, I'm smarter, etcetera, is just camofluage for the reality that people are insecure. It's the "it can't/won't happen to me" mentality. I'm so totally not secure anymore that I'm secure in the knowledge that I have the means to survive without sleeping on a public street. I can at least sleep in the woods. I'd rather sleep in a van and be able to move around easily. The van is some protection from thugs, the public, and the elements, while mobility gives you better opportunities to forage and make some money. I'm going to be an upscale homeless bum, a hobo on wheels, a human turtle with my metallic shelter on my back. I have a friend who wants to come with me, but we'll have to get her a van of her own.
I posted this on April's site in March, and I'm posting it on my blog for my own archival purposes. I want to know why I am doing what I'm doing. In a year I'll be in my van down by a river, somewhere.
I am in the same boat now at age 50 as a result of a personal injury, and have been battling my way back to my former career as a software engineer. You are only as good as your last reference and if you spend a year and a half learning to walk that last reference is too long ago for the regular hiring processors.
I reinvented myself as a data analyst and worked for a temp agency at $30 an hour (used to make $80, and yes I saved my money for a rainy day–that doesn’t always work as well as we hope). Then I moved back into software development contracting at $60 an hour. I’m working at a horrible assignment at the moment, due to be over in a few weeks. I will be eligible for unemployment, thank god. And I will be in a better position to get that next contract, I hope.
Anyway, what is different now, from before the accident, is that I have already gone bankrupt, paid cash for a car, and have saved cash for a decent used van. At the moment I live with my son, no lease for me. We can help each other out. But realistically I need to provide for myself and my retirement years. The plan is to get that used van and make sure it is in excellent driving condition first, then my son and I are fixing it up to be a “camper”. That’s what I told him. It’s really going to be my last-ditch effort to live in relative comfort and safety without being in servitude to a lease. I know I need to be mobile and adaptable.
I have everything of value in a storage room, and I’ve pared it down to the most important things for survival. I plan to get a service trailer, like the innocuous ones used by a lawn service, for carrying extra supplies and my “stuff” when I have to become mobile. The plus side is that trailer can be used to make a living trash-picking and selling at flea markets if I have to. I also have an Ebay store where I sell miniature crafts, something I enjoy and can do well, plus it takes up very little space as a hobby and vocation! I keep it active even while working because I know I’ll may need that store to buy gas or food supplies one day.
For my health I’m serious hiker, a vegan, and I grow my own sprouts. You can do this anywhere, even hiking, even in the dead of winter. I love brown rice, beans, salads, and Indian food. With much experience as an ultra lightweight backpacker I think that cooking is the least of my issues if permanently homeless.
I’m considering buying a $200 a month catastrophic health care policy, but for now I’m living on the edge. Maybe if my accident case is ever settled I can afford it. And now I’m saving money to buy mountain property at a tax sale somewhere where I can at least have a permanent address and park the van and trailer if I have to. I could eventually have a well put in. I’d really love to be able to afford a ready-made tiny living space that is towable. I saw one on Oprah a few weeks ago. That would be so awesome! At least I have a dream and maybe I can achieve it. One thing is certain. I will never go back to believing in home ownership or company loyalty and retirement. That’s unrealistic in the present circumstances.
I appreciate all the information I find on this site. This site and others like it help me figure out the best plan for me based on what is realistic.
Thank you, April!
Haven't seen anything posted from April in several months. I hope she is ok.
Underemployed
I'm so liking the state of being unemployed--at least the pay is regular! For many years I ran my own software consulting business and did pretty well until the accident. What happens after an accident is that your energies slowly erode and everything becomes so much harder, even day-to-day living. Just going to work at all is a project. At first you think that it will get better after the cast comes off, but then you still can't put weight on your leg. After another couple of months the current contract ends and you start to look for more work. But you can't get a job if you are on crutches. Try it, you'll see.
Having the appearance of disability makes you invisible to the world. If I went out with my son, people directed their comments to him and not to me. I have sat in the wheelchair and seen people race me to the grocery store door, only to slam it in my face. They woudn't do it if I was able-bodied. If I did manage to get to the door first folks would literally leap over my wheelchair to beat me inside. And I never knew how difficult it would be to get work in my field from a position of weakness.
So I ended up spending my savings to survive, then after losing current referrals I went back to work making 1/3 less than I was used to making. Again, in the software business you are only as good as your most recent referral and you need three months worth of operating capital while you wait for clients to pay you. I was supporting three teenage kids at the time, I cut back everywhere I could. Even when I made over $100k a year, I bought about $300 worth of clothing at K-Mart or Walmart each year. The basics, really. Between mortgage and taxes I was eaten alive by the system, IMO. I wish I had known then what I know now. I'd have been living in the van instead of a house.
I somehow lucked out with two clients who absolutely needed me to produce work for them when they cracked the whip, but was in the position where paying me was not their top priority as it was mine. I actually got the point with both of them that I could literally say "I can't afford to work for you anymore." I couldn't pay my housing, my electric bill, business insurance, or even gas for my car. I was also waiting desperately for a resolution to my accident case so I might keep up a semblance of normal living with a car, phone, and a reasonable place to live. I lost it all with a vengeance! I had to deal with one client bouncing a 10,000 check to me and found this out while on the first vacation I'd had in 6 years--a cheap vacation that only cost me the gas and the food, as I camped out on the beach at Assateague with my beau, the closest I ever got to a soul mate in my life. I still love him and think about him everyday, but with my lousy luck with finances and life, it isn't going to happen.
Which brings me to the current state of affairs. I ended up giving up my house, which had been in the midst of DIY renovations when I got hurt, so it wasn't immediately sellable. It had a lien on it from my medical insurance carrier, thanks to an idiot attorney who mishandled the entire case. But I took it like a woman and I got rid of everything I owned that I didn't need, took a temp job, and rented a room from a friend who needed help with finances and her clutter. I paid cash for a $2000 car and continued to convert my trash to cash using Ebay and flea markets. I worked at hiking and camping so I'd be physically fit and ready for anything. I needed my confidence back. After a year of temping as a data analyst I decided to try to get a real job in IT again. I'm a .NET Architect and a SQL Server DBA. I went back to an old consulting company and ended up getting a contract-to-perm job immediately, and the hourly rate was ok. I interviewed on Friday morning and was working on Monday. It was to be my last hope for a chance to be normal again, not facing the potential prospect of living on the edge of society out of my car, or worse.
The new job was an interesting challenge and used all my skills with C++ and C#. I worked with realtime server software that communicated with specialized hardware and with a .NET Windows application that used remoting and events to pass messages across domains. Everyone praised my efforts and stated that I was a total godsend to the project--literally four developers rolled into one. I was offered the job of Director of Software Engineering. It would have been a wonderful opportunity if not for the fact that the company was sold and it turns out the product had never made a profit in over 12 years. WTF? If not for bad luck I'd have no luck at all. At one point the CFO tried to strong-arm me into taking that permanent job to save the company money on the contract rate. I had already decided the first month of the contract to just take my contract money and run after I saw the shenanigans going on. The lying, the backstabbing, not to mention the employee checks bouncing because of not getting paid. The hardware was broken and nobody knew why. I stayed on contract, thank-you-very-much! I saved my money, continued to sell off my excess crap, and just outwaited and outwitted him. I ended up working on contract for 8 months, which is better pay than as a full-time employee. After they started bouncing checks to the agency and then ignored the bills I was formally released from work. And unemployment was there ready to help break my fall. I didn't think I was eligible and hadn't planned on trying to get it, but they contacted me. As it turns out, being 50 and unemployed opens up a world of assistance I never knew existed. So this college educated uber-software engineer is on the dole. $2080 a month is not too shabby--my expenses are only $800 at the moment. I have about $1000 a month in other income, and can double that if I concentrate on Ebay. Heck, I can make up to $208 a week at McDonald's if I want to, in addition to the UE. I'm not too shy or vain to work.
The lesson I think I'm supposed to get out of all of this is that I'm not supposed to have a job, or a normal life to be successful. OK! I get it! Yes, my life is totally an alternative lifestyle that has nothing to do with gender or normalcy. I'd give anything to have a life where I wake up with my soul mate and have a cup of coffee as we encourage each other and look forward to more good things in life. But the odds of that every happening now are ludicrous to consider. My only alternative that I can see is to run way and live in a van down by the river.
Sometimes I think that if only I could have in my hands all at once all the money that is due to me right this minute, I could turn it all around. Before the accident I was saving money to invest in one of my own software ideas. That idea is now about 7 years too old, so I need a new plan that is at least doable. But at the same time I'm struggling physically and now I'm struggling emotionally. I'm not sure what to do next so I'm doing nothing except marking time. As my son pointed out, I probably need the break.
He knows that for the past 23-24 years of his life, his mom has been the head-of-household, chief breadwinner, and the queen of making every second count. Regimented, over-scheduled, and overwhelmed, I have had three or more jobs at one time, finished college, worked like a dog, started a business, bought a house, and juggled everybodies' schedules and met their needs. I'm a testament to what *can* be done. I kept it up until years after "the accident." To take total responsibility for the place where I am now, I made the decision to give it all up. The van down by the river actually sounds pretty good to me now. I want to drink beer and chase women. I should have plenty of time to do that when I'm living in a van down by the river. Thanks, Chris Farley! We loved you!
Having the appearance of disability makes you invisible to the world. If I went out with my son, people directed their comments to him and not to me. I have sat in the wheelchair and seen people race me to the grocery store door, only to slam it in my face. They woudn't do it if I was able-bodied. If I did manage to get to the door first folks would literally leap over my wheelchair to beat me inside. And I never knew how difficult it would be to get work in my field from a position of weakness.
So I ended up spending my savings to survive, then after losing current referrals I went back to work making 1/3 less than I was used to making. Again, in the software business you are only as good as your most recent referral and you need three months worth of operating capital while you wait for clients to pay you. I was supporting three teenage kids at the time, I cut back everywhere I could. Even when I made over $100k a year, I bought about $300 worth of clothing at K-Mart or Walmart each year. The basics, really. Between mortgage and taxes I was eaten alive by the system, IMO. I wish I had known then what I know now. I'd have been living in the van instead of a house.
I somehow lucked out with two clients who absolutely needed me to produce work for them when they cracked the whip, but was in the position where paying me was not their top priority as it was mine. I actually got the point with both of them that I could literally say "I can't afford to work for you anymore." I couldn't pay my housing, my electric bill, business insurance, or even gas for my car. I was also waiting desperately for a resolution to my accident case so I might keep up a semblance of normal living with a car, phone, and a reasonable place to live. I lost it all with a vengeance! I had to deal with one client bouncing a 10,000 check to me and found this out while on the first vacation I'd had in 6 years--a cheap vacation that only cost me the gas and the food, as I camped out on the beach at Assateague with my beau, the closest I ever got to a soul mate in my life. I still love him and think about him everyday, but with my lousy luck with finances and life, it isn't going to happen.
Which brings me to the current state of affairs. I ended up giving up my house, which had been in the midst of DIY renovations when I got hurt, so it wasn't immediately sellable. It had a lien on it from my medical insurance carrier, thanks to an idiot attorney who mishandled the entire case. But I took it like a woman and I got rid of everything I owned that I didn't need, took a temp job, and rented a room from a friend who needed help with finances and her clutter. I paid cash for a $2000 car and continued to convert my trash to cash using Ebay and flea markets. I worked at hiking and camping so I'd be physically fit and ready for anything. I needed my confidence back. After a year of temping as a data analyst I decided to try to get a real job in IT again. I'm a .NET Architect and a SQL Server DBA. I went back to an old consulting company and ended up getting a contract-to-perm job immediately, and the hourly rate was ok. I interviewed on Friday morning and was working on Monday. It was to be my last hope for a chance to be normal again, not facing the potential prospect of living on the edge of society out of my car, or worse.
The new job was an interesting challenge and used all my skills with C++ and C#. I worked with realtime server software that communicated with specialized hardware and with a .NET Windows application that used remoting and events to pass messages across domains. Everyone praised my efforts and stated that I was a total godsend to the project--literally four developers rolled into one. I was offered the job of Director of Software Engineering. It would have been a wonderful opportunity if not for the fact that the company was sold and it turns out the product had never made a profit in over 12 years. WTF? If not for bad luck I'd have no luck at all. At one point the CFO tried to strong-arm me into taking that permanent job to save the company money on the contract rate. I had already decided the first month of the contract to just take my contract money and run after I saw the shenanigans going on. The lying, the backstabbing, not to mention the employee checks bouncing because of not getting paid. The hardware was broken and nobody knew why. I stayed on contract, thank-you-very-much! I saved my money, continued to sell off my excess crap, and just outwaited and outwitted him. I ended up working on contract for 8 months, which is better pay than as a full-time employee. After they started bouncing checks to the agency and then ignored the bills I was formally released from work. And unemployment was there ready to help break my fall. I didn't think I was eligible and hadn't planned on trying to get it, but they contacted me. As it turns out, being 50 and unemployed opens up a world of assistance I never knew existed. So this college educated uber-software engineer is on the dole. $2080 a month is not too shabby--my expenses are only $800 at the moment. I have about $1000 a month in other income, and can double that if I concentrate on Ebay. Heck, I can make up to $208 a week at McDonald's if I want to, in addition to the UE. I'm not too shy or vain to work.
The lesson I think I'm supposed to get out of all of this is that I'm not supposed to have a job, or a normal life to be successful. OK! I get it! Yes, my life is totally an alternative lifestyle that has nothing to do with gender or normalcy. I'd give anything to have a life where I wake up with my soul mate and have a cup of coffee as we encourage each other and look forward to more good things in life. But the odds of that every happening now are ludicrous to consider. My only alternative that I can see is to run way and live in a van down by the river.
Sometimes I think that if only I could have in my hands all at once all the money that is due to me right this minute, I could turn it all around. Before the accident I was saving money to invest in one of my own software ideas. That idea is now about 7 years too old, so I need a new plan that is at least doable. But at the same time I'm struggling physically and now I'm struggling emotionally. I'm not sure what to do next so I'm doing nothing except marking time. As my son pointed out, I probably need the break.
He knows that for the past 23-24 years of his life, his mom has been the head-of-household, chief breadwinner, and the queen of making every second count. Regimented, over-scheduled, and overwhelmed, I have had three or more jobs at one time, finished college, worked like a dog, started a business, bought a house, and juggled everybodies' schedules and met their needs. I'm a testament to what *can* be done. I kept it up until years after "the accident." To take total responsibility for the place where I am now, I made the decision to give it all up. The van down by the river actually sounds pretty good to me now. I want to drink beer and chase women. I should have plenty of time to do that when I'm living in a van down by the river. Thanks, Chris Farley! We loved you!
Monday, May 14, 2007
Mother's Day
I got a really nice gold heart shaped pendant on a delicate chain for Mother's Day. I have a really cool kid. Nate is in the National Guard, plus he works for the National Guard through the week as his 9-5 job. He's a go-getter. We just learned that he probably won't be going "over there" until 2009. I pray...
I'm enjoying this new blog I've started. But it seems that this is such a self-absorbed activity. I suppose an on-line journal is by its nature a self-absorbed activity. If I can watch Charm School and be captivated by the self-absorbed antics of "reality tv" denizens, then why not post a self-absorbed blog? Really, it's just a how-to book on finding one's own path. After spending 50 years living with others and being somewhat defined by those relationships and my career, I find this to be a helpful tool for me. I've either been a child, a daughter, a roommate, a wife, a mother, and a roommate again. I'm still a mother, but the boys are grown. I blinked and things changed 180 degrees. From now on my life is exactly what I will make of it. No more excuses, such as having to work, pay the mortgage, blah, blah, blah. There is nothing at the end of all that effort that will be a suitable recompense for the time spent. I really don't care how high the grass grows--capice? LOL
Right now I'm basking in the glow of a satisfying meal of a Burger King veggie burger. I was running lots of errands and decided a treat was due. I have a bunch of jewelry findings to try out in my new people-sized jewelry designs tonight. This is a little break while the dishwasher finishes its cycle. Plus it was time for a Heineken, a vegan beer. Yup, I'm a born-again vegan. WWJE?
I own being a cantankerous, old, mean customer! I visited five stores today. I walked out of two, and was a little annoyed with one but we still conducted business. Let's start with Office Depot. It's close to Nathan's apartment where I am hanging out, so I started there with my bag of spent inkjet cartridges. All they had on the shelves were multi-packs and they would only let you turn in one cartridge per package, period. That seemed like such a rip-off that I just left. I was going to buy copy paper and packaging tape, but no matter. Off I trotted to Walmart just down the way. I thought I'd look at their jewelry findings, even though it is at least a half mile walk to that department. Sheesh! I dread going in that store sometimes. But I found a bunch of potential charms and findings on sale (findings are the metal connectors). I probably had $50 worth of stuff in my arms, plus a pair of lightweight khakis to extend my meager wardrobe a bit. I searched for a register and the lines were horrendous. There were six 7-10 items only lanes, and two regular lanes which is what my stuff qualified for. I stood, and stood, and stood in that line and happened to notice that the cashier was moving in s-l-o-o-o-o-w m-o-t-i-o-o-o-o-n, literally! I could not believe it. She painstakingly folded each item in current customer's pile, and I couldn't believe it, even though this is the second time I've seen a deliberate work slowdown in at a Walmart cash register. Am I the only one who's seen this behavior? I've been a cashier and only a nutcase would drag the day out like that. I used to pride myself on actually working with a little teensy bit of self-respect. So I just walked out without a word and left all the stuff on the counter. Normally I would have said "if you have that much time on your hands to work so slow, then you have time to put all this shit away." But I've mellowed a bit over the years. >^;^<
I head on over to JoAnne's, where I find oodles of findings on sale. I stocked up, made my purchase, and it was a pleasant, efficient exchange. They didn't even ask for my zip code! Yeah! Staples is right next door, so I turned in all 13 spent cartridges for $3 coupons good for 90 days on ANYTHING you buy in the store, not just cartridges. Wow! The cashier took three of them off right there. I have $30 left, usable 3 coupons at a time. I'm SO GLAD I WALKED OUT OF Office Despot!!! The very patient and efficient cashier was able to simultaneously convince me to sign up for the "bonus card" thing again, because it's good for a 10% rebate on cartridges and paper products every 90 days. I can handle that. And she didn't bother me for my zip code!
After a quick run into the big Post Office at Southeastern, PA, picked up two packages I bought on Ebay and mailed the miniature bracelet. Next stop, after a mad dash through King of Prussia, was Michael's, another craft store. I found most of what I needed and a bit more besides, then of course the cash register debacle over a zip code commenced. I either say 90210, or "no" when asked. I wish they'd just stop it already. Please, please, please leave my zip code alone. My goal is not to have a freaking zip code already. Yep, I'm getting older and more cantankerous by the minute. Office Despot is off my list permanently, and Walmart I'll just keep having fun with them, but not very often. I get most of my clothes and books at the thrift stores or flea markets, and pretty much everything else on Ebay. I just waited too long to get the cartridges. Sometimes you need it now.
I'm enjoying this new blog I've started. But it seems that this is such a self-absorbed activity. I suppose an on-line journal is by its nature a self-absorbed activity. If I can watch Charm School and be captivated by the self-absorbed antics of "reality tv" denizens, then why not post a self-absorbed blog? Really, it's just a how-to book on finding one's own path. After spending 50 years living with others and being somewhat defined by those relationships and my career, I find this to be a helpful tool for me. I've either been a child, a daughter, a roommate, a wife, a mother, and a roommate again. I'm still a mother, but the boys are grown. I blinked and things changed 180 degrees. From now on my life is exactly what I will make of it. No more excuses, such as having to work, pay the mortgage, blah, blah, blah. There is nothing at the end of all that effort that will be a suitable recompense for the time spent. I really don't care how high the grass grows--capice? LOL
Right now I'm basking in the glow of a satisfying meal of a Burger King veggie burger. I was running lots of errands and decided a treat was due. I have a bunch of jewelry findings to try out in my new people-sized jewelry designs tonight. This is a little break while the dishwasher finishes its cycle. Plus it was time for a Heineken, a vegan beer. Yup, I'm a born-again vegan. WWJE?
I own being a cantankerous, old, mean customer! I visited five stores today. I walked out of two, and was a little annoyed with one but we still conducted business. Let's start with Office Depot. It's close to Nathan's apartment where I am hanging out, so I started there with my bag of spent inkjet cartridges. All they had on the shelves were multi-packs and they would only let you turn in one cartridge per package, period. That seemed like such a rip-off that I just left. I was going to buy copy paper and packaging tape, but no matter. Off I trotted to Walmart just down the way. I thought I'd look at their jewelry findings, even though it is at least a half mile walk to that department. Sheesh! I dread going in that store sometimes. But I found a bunch of potential charms and findings on sale (findings are the metal connectors). I probably had $50 worth of stuff in my arms, plus a pair of lightweight khakis to extend my meager wardrobe a bit. I searched for a register and the lines were horrendous. There were six 7-10 items only lanes, and two regular lanes which is what my stuff qualified for. I stood, and stood, and stood in that line and happened to notice that the cashier was moving in s-l-o-o-o-o-w m-o-t-i-o-o-o-o-n, literally! I could not believe it. She painstakingly folded each item in current customer's pile, and I couldn't believe it, even though this is the second time I've seen a deliberate work slowdown in at a Walmart cash register. Am I the only one who's seen this behavior? I've been a cashier and only a nutcase would drag the day out like that. I used to pride myself on actually working with a little teensy bit of self-respect. So I just walked out without a word and left all the stuff on the counter. Normally I would have said "if you have that much time on your hands to work so slow, then you have time to put all this shit away." But I've mellowed a bit over the years. >^;^<
I head on over to JoAnne's, where I find oodles of findings on sale. I stocked up, made my purchase, and it was a pleasant, efficient exchange. They didn't even ask for my zip code! Yeah! Staples is right next door, so I turned in all 13 spent cartridges for $3 coupons good for 90 days on ANYTHING you buy in the store, not just cartridges. Wow! The cashier took three of them off right there. I have $30 left, usable 3 coupons at a time. I'm SO GLAD I WALKED OUT OF Office Despot!!! The very patient and efficient cashier was able to simultaneously convince me to sign up for the "bonus card" thing again, because it's good for a 10% rebate on cartridges and paper products every 90 days. I can handle that. And she didn't bother me for my zip code!
After a quick run into the big Post Office at Southeastern, PA, picked up two packages I bought on Ebay and mailed the miniature bracelet. Next stop, after a mad dash through King of Prussia, was Michael's, another craft store. I found most of what I needed and a bit more besides, then of course the cash register debacle over a zip code commenced. I either say 90210, or "no" when asked. I wish they'd just stop it already. Please, please, please leave my zip code alone. My goal is not to have a freaking zip code already. Yep, I'm getting older and more cantankerous by the minute. Office Despot is off my list permanently, and Walmart I'll just keep having fun with them, but not very often. I get most of my clothes and books at the thrift stores or flea markets, and pretty much everything else on Ebay. I just waited too long to get the cartridges. Sometimes you need it now.
Marking Time, Making Progress
Yesterday I packed up the rest of the loot stored at Crazy Girl's house. Just some personal stuff, sewing stuff, and of course my food. The fridge there has utterly died. I had to throw out tons of stuff, but salvaged my mushrooms and asparagus for today's lunch. I toted the Champion Juicer out, but left the Bravetti. That was after juicing a yummy grapefruit and lemon concoction and slamming it down. I was thirsty! I'll use the Champion at my son's house for awhile while I prepare for the big move.
I cleaned the cat pan, scrubbed Spike's ass (literally), and fondled Kristi Belle Belle Belle. She licked my hands and fingers and arms until she was satisfied that I no longer had any skin left. Good kitty! I have some interesting characters for cat ornaments in my life. Spike was originally named Baby, and belonged to my dearest friend. She went out to Missouri and left him with me about six years ago. He hid under my bed and didn't eat for a week and I didn't understand how serious that could be as he is a very obese fellow. Hence the reason he needs help with his hygiene. So Spike got Hepatic Lipidosis from what is essentially cat anorexia, a very serious condition. He survived by getting a feeding tube and being fed some specialized nutrition. We did this for several months and during that time we really bonded with each other. In honor of his tough survivor spirit I renamed him Spike, but everybody just calls him Fat Cat. He loves his people. Kristi Belle Belle Belle is just a human oriented and bonded three year old kitten with a fondness for being near and licking her people. My personal life plan is to get Spike to his original Mommy's house, visit a spell with her, then hit the road in the converted van with Belle Belle. Although I may leave Belle Belle with Mavis until I've done some serious hiking in the west. I've lived in Colorado and hiked Pike's Peak, but I've never done anything further west, or even been to the Grand Canyon. I have to get some miles under my feet.
Several years ago I had an accident which shattered my left ankle and messed up that leg and foot pretty good. There were some fun times with surgery and I felt good and sorry for myself. I was creeping up on 50 and felt kind of cheated by circumstances in my life. For about 5 minutes, well maybe 50 minutes. Though self-pity still hits me now and then, I was determined to make a new life for myself that would include my passions. I love to make miniature jewelry and doll accessories. I love to make things, hence people sized charm bracelets. I love to find tiny treasures and turn them into something special. I love to hike and camp in the outdoors. I love less stuff, smaller stuff, and enjoy using my imagination to come up with a variety of ways to use resources wisely. As a product of the 60's I was deeply influenced by the hippy movement. I missed living it by a few years, but I lived the bohemian life in college complete with wheatgrass sprouts and vegan potlucks. I've slept on a pallet with oodles of roommates and did without television for several years. I purposefully missed out on the drugs and free love, I'm not sure what that was all about, unless the herbs are all natural--hint hint. It was a peaceful and fulfilling experience. I've tried to get back to it all my life, but feel like the shackles of a job and a permanent home keep me from this goal. I want to write, obviously, and I still love to write software, though not as a technical slave to others. I'll figure it out. That's my thang.
Today I need to mail off a miniature bracelet someone bought from my Ebay store and pick up some jewelry components for the people sized charm bracelet project. And because this week is dedicated to paperwork I will get some more ink for my HP 7110 all-in-one. I need to print tax forms and design new labels for the people sized charm bracelets. And I plan to buy some display boxes on Ebay for selling the bracelets. For 10 cents a box it makes your creations look so professional that you can add a few more dollars to the price. I am a ferocious marketer. LOL
And somehow all the hiking I've been doing has made my neck and back hurt like I'm 70 and have arthritis. No way! I don't consume dairy products! It ain't happening! I think I just overdid the yard sale last weekend and I'm not used to the backpack yet this season. The weather has been so weird, wet, and frigid. Well, it's 11:30 am, time to attend to my hygiene and get moving. I want to get home by 1:00 and watch the ABC soaps while I do the paperwork project (sort/purge/file/handle/correspondence/etc) so it isn't such a horrid chore. And yesterday went well with the charm bracelet project, so well that I'd like to up the production to 12 sets a day. I figured I only need to sell 3 sets a day to survive, but the more you have to show the better they sell. And to digress even further, I make one cool set and bag up the parts to reproduce the design. This way I can make and show one, but list that I have 50 of them, for instance. I'll do some one-of-a-kinds, but it makes better use of my resources to get the reproducible ones on Ebay first. That's marketing. Like Microsoft, I sell it before I finish it, if you get my drift...create once, sell many times. That's the key. The one-of-a-kind bracelet sets will cost more and may get more sales, but it's very time consuming to list one item. It pays to list one item that you have more units to sell. I figure I will have over a four thousand items ready when I start pushing them. That will be closer to Christmas, when current income stream starts to dry up. I'm not relying financially on the Ebay store yet, but will be able to do that when rent is not a factor.
Oh, my youngest son is getting quite serious about his new girlfriend. I'm making her and her four year old daughter a matching charm bracelet, earrings, and necklace set for each, plus a tiny set for a teddy bear. I'm such a hopeless romantic. I hope this works out for all of them. I love kids.
I cleaned the cat pan, scrubbed Spike's ass (literally), and fondled Kristi Belle Belle Belle. She licked my hands and fingers and arms until she was satisfied that I no longer had any skin left. Good kitty! I have some interesting characters for cat ornaments in my life. Spike was originally named Baby, and belonged to my dearest friend. She went out to Missouri and left him with me about six years ago. He hid under my bed and didn't eat for a week and I didn't understand how serious that could be as he is a very obese fellow. Hence the reason he needs help with his hygiene. So Spike got Hepatic Lipidosis from what is essentially cat anorexia, a very serious condition. He survived by getting a feeding tube and being fed some specialized nutrition. We did this for several months and during that time we really bonded with each other. In honor of his tough survivor spirit I renamed him Spike, but everybody just calls him Fat Cat. He loves his people. Kristi Belle Belle Belle is just a human oriented and bonded three year old kitten with a fondness for being near and licking her people. My personal life plan is to get Spike to his original Mommy's house, visit a spell with her, then hit the road in the converted van with Belle Belle. Although I may leave Belle Belle with Mavis until I've done some serious hiking in the west. I've lived in Colorado and hiked Pike's Peak, but I've never done anything further west, or even been to the Grand Canyon. I have to get some miles under my feet.
Several years ago I had an accident which shattered my left ankle and messed up that leg and foot pretty good. There were some fun times with surgery and I felt good and sorry for myself. I was creeping up on 50 and felt kind of cheated by circumstances in my life. For about 5 minutes, well maybe 50 minutes. Though self-pity still hits me now and then, I was determined to make a new life for myself that would include my passions. I love to make miniature jewelry and doll accessories. I love to make things, hence people sized charm bracelets. I love to find tiny treasures and turn them into something special. I love to hike and camp in the outdoors. I love less stuff, smaller stuff, and enjoy using my imagination to come up with a variety of ways to use resources wisely. As a product of the 60's I was deeply influenced by the hippy movement. I missed living it by a few years, but I lived the bohemian life in college complete with wheatgrass sprouts and vegan potlucks. I've slept on a pallet with oodles of roommates and did without television for several years. I purposefully missed out on the drugs and free love, I'm not sure what that was all about, unless the herbs are all natural--hint hint. It was a peaceful and fulfilling experience. I've tried to get back to it all my life, but feel like the shackles of a job and a permanent home keep me from this goal. I want to write, obviously, and I still love to write software, though not as a technical slave to others. I'll figure it out. That's my thang.
Today I need to mail off a miniature bracelet someone bought from my Ebay store and pick up some jewelry components for the people sized charm bracelet project. And because this week is dedicated to paperwork I will get some more ink for my HP 7110 all-in-one. I need to print tax forms and design new labels for the people sized charm bracelets. And I plan to buy some display boxes on Ebay for selling the bracelets. For 10 cents a box it makes your creations look so professional that you can add a few more dollars to the price. I am a ferocious marketer. LOL
And somehow all the hiking I've been doing has made my neck and back hurt like I'm 70 and have arthritis. No way! I don't consume dairy products! It ain't happening! I think I just overdid the yard sale last weekend and I'm not used to the backpack yet this season. The weather has been so weird, wet, and frigid. Well, it's 11:30 am, time to attend to my hygiene and get moving. I want to get home by 1:00 and watch the ABC soaps while I do the paperwork project (sort/purge/file/handle/correspondence/etc) so it isn't such a horrid chore. And yesterday went well with the charm bracelet project, so well that I'd like to up the production to 12 sets a day. I figured I only need to sell 3 sets a day to survive, but the more you have to show the better they sell. And to digress even further, I make one cool set and bag up the parts to reproduce the design. This way I can make and show one, but list that I have 50 of them, for instance. I'll do some one-of-a-kinds, but it makes better use of my resources to get the reproducible ones on Ebay first. That's marketing. Like Microsoft, I sell it before I finish it, if you get my drift...create once, sell many times. That's the key. The one-of-a-kind bracelet sets will cost more and may get more sales, but it's very time consuming to list one item. It pays to list one item that you have more units to sell. I figure I will have over a four thousand items ready when I start pushing them. That will be closer to Christmas, when current income stream starts to dry up. I'm not relying financially on the Ebay store yet, but will be able to do that when rent is not a factor.
Oh, my youngest son is getting quite serious about his new girlfriend. I'm making her and her four year old daughter a matching charm bracelet, earrings, and necklace set for each, plus a tiny set for a teddy bear. I'm such a hopeless romantic. I hope this works out for all of them. I love kids.
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Earth Mother Moves On
I am spending a very relaxing morning at my current roommate situation, because she is in Texas visiting her daughter, and I'm doing laundry and getting ready for my hiking trip. She still hasn't unpacked and the house is an unbelievable mess, but I try to ignore it. Anyway, I alternate between here, the old man's house. and organizing all my paperwork and family photos at my son's house. Life now is all about playing trivia and rekindling/dousing a dying romance with an old beau. All in all, I'm simply marking time. My work here in Pennsylvania is essentially done. I've raised the boys, they are off and running and living their lives. I have a new dream, and by golly I'm going to live it!
I say all this because I'm working on my plan to simplify my life and live on the road for a bit. In the course of the planning, I am looking over websites and blogs by folks who seem to already be living the life. Something I read this morning struck a serious cord with me. It's the deal with friendships that suck the life out of us, whether with men or women. I'm going to be 51 very soon, and it has taken me this long to get a perspective on that. On one hand I am a caregiver and only feel valuable when caregiving, and I'm starting to get why that is. Unfortunately it seems to have a zero rate of return for the amount of energy expended. Up until a few days ago I was ignoring my own plans in life in order to "rescue" my former roommate (I'll call her "Little Bird") from her life of chaos and clutter. In fact I had already moved out of there several months ago because it was sucking the life out of me to live in the midst of the madness. I had already cleared a four bedroom house of my own clutter, and was working on the storage room (which is done!), and now have only paperwork and memorabilia to finish purging, sorting, and electronically storing. I can't clear the world's clutter, too! LOL
The old roommate is a few years older than me, and has fibromyalgia and a long list of issues that include obesity, diabetes, restless leg syndrome, and more. She claims that she can't clear her own clutter and chaos because of this, and that I am her only friend who even cares. Heck, I'm the only one allowed inside to see the mess piled up in every square inch of the house. You cannot imagine the conditions. Food and trash routinely pile up in the kitchen, so that you can't get anything out of the fridge or cupboards and certainly can't prepare a healthy meal if your life depended upon it. Paper of every sort is allowed to accumulate at least an inch deep on the floor of the main living area. Boxes and packaging materials are saved forever, and QVC makes daily deliveries, so there is always more to throw on the floor. And the theory that disability makes it impossible to be clean and organized is disproved by the numerous shopping trips to bring more into the house. Hey, I'm far from perfect myself, but I try to stay true to myself. I was disabled, too--yet I'm trying every day to get back on my feet and stay there. I simply ignored the clutter and mess for quite awhile, until I heard her repeated cries for help. So, I thought I was helping.
I spent most of the past two weeks getting ready for a blowout yard sale at her house in order to make it easier to move the clutter that has any value OUT. She hired two young girls to do the heavy lifting (16 & 14), and they put their all into it, poor kids. So did I--we were exhausted after two days of selling. I took 3 hours on Sunday morning before the crowds arrived and tried to put the kitchen into some kind of order, and cooked a very nutritious and tasty meal before having "the talk" with my friend that evening. I know Rome wasn't built in a day! I tried to suggest taking the newfound clearness in the kitchen and making it SACRED! As in "don't clutter it up again!". I have a clear vision of a very doable task of keeping the kitchen cooking area clean and extending it about two feet a day until it extends to the rest of the house. But alas, it was not to be.
I have another two weeks where I have to stay in Pennsylvania, to get expert medical reports done for my accident case before planning my trip to Missouri. So I planned to make Little Bird my "project" before moving on. I cut short a productive day for myself to head over to her house for a night of cleaning & clearing. When I got there she was visiting a neighbor who was drinking beer and smoking, things Little Bird despises, yet she seemed to be comfortable with this. I visited a spell, and decided to unload my overnight gear and foodstuffs. As soon as I walked into the kitchen my heart sank. All my hard work was tossed into the trashcan. A pity that the crap in the kitchen hadn't been tossed into the trashcan. It only took her four days to trash the place. Food, bags, trash, dishes, all piled hither and thither! Tears came to my eyes and I realized that no amount of my personal energy was going to change things for Little Bird. Within a few minutes I loaded my little car, said goodbye, and left with a huge sigh of relief. I gave myself permission to focus strictly on my own requirements.
Was this a cold decision or sane decision? I think it was sanity that prevailed. You simply cannot fix another human being. That's probably what causes most welfare programs to fail. When you help people, you prevent them from learning to help themselves. I will always provide food and shelter if someone needs it to survive and if I have it to give. I will give directions, when asked. I will not pass judgment, not even on Little Bird. As a wise man once told me, people do exactly what they want to do, no matter what they say about it. To help someone, I need to see first that they will help themselves. Little Bird can always call me and ask me to help with a specific task, that lasts no more than 60 minutes. But I will not try to fix her or anyone else again. You heard it here! It would be nice to have her as a friend, however I learned another lesson--some friendships simply cost too much.
Now that sanity prevailed, I'm going to use my Blog to keep myself on track. The goal is to enjoy a long hike in Georgia with the old man before it gets to hot, then hopefully a trip in a used van to visit a dear friend in Missouri that will also test out the notion of van dwelling. If anything, the van will be my bedroom and office on wheels. I tested out the idea in a truck, but that was only to sleep overnight. The van is to be the ultimate tent for a wheeled backpacking adventure. To get there I will stay on task. Today I'm finishing up laundry and heading over to Nathan's to work on paperwork. We got seriously behind in the paperwork department and need to sort, purge, file, and handle everything. They say the paperwork tiger is the hardest to handle, I agree with "them". I hate paperwork!
When the paperwork is done I have some ideas for more charm bracelets to put up on my Ebay store. Over the years I developed a miniature jewelry making hobby into something that generates income, as much or as little as I want. If I spend time listing, things sell. It takes time to list, trust me! Anyway, as I gathered miniature charms and findings for this hobby, I accumulated a whole lot of larger charms & beads. I've made a few charm bracelets, those luscious, chunky ones full of nostalgia and kitsch! Everybody seems to love them, and I got offers at the yard sale. These are the kind of items that sell for the most money when you have hundred's of them on display at a flea market, or as specialty items on Ebay. So my goal is to make six bracelet & earring sets a day and list them in the Ebay store. When I go out to Missouri I'll make them available to the world. The store format costs 6 cents a listing, while making them available to the world costs about a dollar. After adding Ebay & Paypal fees, it costs you about $2.00 to sell one $20 item. So we sellers add that to the Shipping & Handling so we don't get soaked. I have learned this the hard way.
I say all this because I'm working on my plan to simplify my life and live on the road for a bit. In the course of the planning, I am looking over websites and blogs by folks who seem to already be living the life. Something I read this morning struck a serious cord with me. It's the deal with friendships that suck the life out of us, whether with men or women. I'm going to be 51 very soon, and it has taken me this long to get a perspective on that. On one hand I am a caregiver and only feel valuable when caregiving, and I'm starting to get why that is. Unfortunately it seems to have a zero rate of return for the amount of energy expended. Up until a few days ago I was ignoring my own plans in life in order to "rescue" my former roommate (I'll call her "Little Bird") from her life of chaos and clutter. In fact I had already moved out of there several months ago because it was sucking the life out of me to live in the midst of the madness. I had already cleared a four bedroom house of my own clutter, and was working on the storage room (which is done!), and now have only paperwork and memorabilia to finish purging, sorting, and electronically storing. I can't clear the world's clutter, too! LOL
The old roommate is a few years older than me, and has fibromyalgia and a long list of issues that include obesity, diabetes, restless leg syndrome, and more. She claims that she can't clear her own clutter and chaos because of this, and that I am her only friend who even cares. Heck, I'm the only one allowed inside to see the mess piled up in every square inch of the house. You cannot imagine the conditions. Food and trash routinely pile up in the kitchen, so that you can't get anything out of the fridge or cupboards and certainly can't prepare a healthy meal if your life depended upon it. Paper of every sort is allowed to accumulate at least an inch deep on the floor of the main living area. Boxes and packaging materials are saved forever, and QVC makes daily deliveries, so there is always more to throw on the floor. And the theory that disability makes it impossible to be clean and organized is disproved by the numerous shopping trips to bring more into the house. Hey, I'm far from perfect myself, but I try to stay true to myself. I was disabled, too--yet I'm trying every day to get back on my feet and stay there. I simply ignored the clutter and mess for quite awhile, until I heard her repeated cries for help. So, I thought I was helping.
I spent most of the past two weeks getting ready for a blowout yard sale at her house in order to make it easier to move the clutter that has any value OUT. She hired two young girls to do the heavy lifting (16 & 14), and they put their all into it, poor kids. So did I--we were exhausted after two days of selling. I took 3 hours on Sunday morning before the crowds arrived and tried to put the kitchen into some kind of order, and cooked a very nutritious and tasty meal before having "the talk" with my friend that evening. I know Rome wasn't built in a day! I tried to suggest taking the newfound clearness in the kitchen and making it SACRED! As in "don't clutter it up again!". I have a clear vision of a very doable task of keeping the kitchen cooking area clean and extending it about two feet a day until it extends to the rest of the house. But alas, it was not to be.
I have another two weeks where I have to stay in Pennsylvania, to get expert medical reports done for my accident case before planning my trip to Missouri. So I planned to make Little Bird my "project" before moving on. I cut short a productive day for myself to head over to her house for a night of cleaning & clearing. When I got there she was visiting a neighbor who was drinking beer and smoking, things Little Bird despises, yet she seemed to be comfortable with this. I visited a spell, and decided to unload my overnight gear and foodstuffs. As soon as I walked into the kitchen my heart sank. All my hard work was tossed into the trashcan. A pity that the crap in the kitchen hadn't been tossed into the trashcan. It only took her four days to trash the place. Food, bags, trash, dishes, all piled hither and thither! Tears came to my eyes and I realized that no amount of my personal energy was going to change things for Little Bird. Within a few minutes I loaded my little car, said goodbye, and left with a huge sigh of relief. I gave myself permission to focus strictly on my own requirements.
Was this a cold decision or sane decision? I think it was sanity that prevailed. You simply cannot fix another human being. That's probably what causes most welfare programs to fail. When you help people, you prevent them from learning to help themselves. I will always provide food and shelter if someone needs it to survive and if I have it to give. I will give directions, when asked. I will not pass judgment, not even on Little Bird. As a wise man once told me, people do exactly what they want to do, no matter what they say about it. To help someone, I need to see first that they will help themselves. Little Bird can always call me and ask me to help with a specific task, that lasts no more than 60 minutes. But I will not try to fix her or anyone else again. You heard it here! It would be nice to have her as a friend, however I learned another lesson--some friendships simply cost too much.
Now that sanity prevailed, I'm going to use my Blog to keep myself on track. The goal is to enjoy a long hike in Georgia with the old man before it gets to hot, then hopefully a trip in a used van to visit a dear friend in Missouri that will also test out the notion of van dwelling. If anything, the van will be my bedroom and office on wheels. I tested out the idea in a truck, but that was only to sleep overnight. The van is to be the ultimate tent for a wheeled backpacking adventure. To get there I will stay on task. Today I'm finishing up laundry and heading over to Nathan's to work on paperwork. We got seriously behind in the paperwork department and need to sort, purge, file, and handle everything. They say the paperwork tiger is the hardest to handle, I agree with "them". I hate paperwork!
When the paperwork is done I have some ideas for more charm bracelets to put up on my Ebay store. Over the years I developed a miniature jewelry making hobby into something that generates income, as much or as little as I want. If I spend time listing, things sell. It takes time to list, trust me! Anyway, as I gathered miniature charms and findings for this hobby, I accumulated a whole lot of larger charms & beads. I've made a few charm bracelets, those luscious, chunky ones full of nostalgia and kitsch! Everybody seems to love them, and I got offers at the yard sale. These are the kind of items that sell for the most money when you have hundred's of them on display at a flea market, or as specialty items on Ebay. So my goal is to make six bracelet & earring sets a day and list them in the Ebay store. When I go out to Missouri I'll make them available to the world. The store format costs 6 cents a listing, while making them available to the world costs about a dollar. After adding Ebay & Paypal fees, it costs you about $2.00 to sell one $20 item. So we sellers add that to the Shipping & Handling so we don't get soaked. I have learned this the hard way.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)